I wish the peplum feathers didn’t start right in the middle of her boob area, but the sequin print on that dress is lovely and cool.

Well, a lot of models showed up in naked dresses to this thing, so congrats to them for having the confidence and congrats to nudists everywhere for inching toward the mainstream.

I wish Nancy’s dress fit her a bit better up top, but it’s hard to critique these two, I just love seeing them on a red carpet so much.

All of Wes Anderson’s favorite boys are here! Brady went for whimsical, and she does look adorable. The iridescent overlay is a bit messy, but at least it’s not boring.

The Norwegian model looks like she’s being lightly choked by the sea, no notes.

I’m sorry, I try to find at least one positive thing to say about each look, but I just cannot endorse any part of whatever is happening here.

It’s literally her job to look like this on red carpets and runways, so yeah, she looks amazing. The dress isn’t particularly interesting, but she’s working it, and the dark red lip is hot. Congrats. Next!

The simple black dress lets her face, jewels, and hair steal the show; she’s gorgeous and doesn’t need feathers or sequins to prove it.

I would’ve died to wear this dress as a little girl, and I mean that in the best way.

OK, I can see how she made a career as an influencer, because who doesn’t want to look like this walking up the stairs? I don’t even wear pink, but I am influenced.

The British actor and his Paralympian American athlete wife are looking classic and elegant in France.

I don’t know who this woman is, but I must acknowledge her for wearing the highest, most open slit on a dress I’ve ever seen. My gut says we’re a bit too close to seeing labia here, but on the other hand, would that be so terrible? Free the labia, I guess.

Having grown up in Louisiana, the purple and gold combo immediately conjures college football colors for me—but I can see how others might be charmed by this dramatic contrast on the lovely Laotian pageant winner.

I must admit I had to google Domboy (he’s a French actor) (I hope it’s not pronounced “dumb boy??”), but he’s hot and this slideshow needs more men.

She looks like she’s dressing up as an earthworm, I’m so sorry.

I’ve never seen anything like this—sheer bellbottoms?? The whole look feels like a fresh and fashion-forward way to somehow make shorts work on a red carpet.

This print looks alarmingly like our office carpet. No honey no!

Hervey is apparently so much of an English aristocrat that she gets the “Lady” title. But can we please get the Lady a new stylist? Everything about this bubblegum pink Ice Capades atrocity is cringe, but especially those gloves. Just unredeemable.

This is like 40 times more fabric than she normally wears, but I’m glad to see that she’s sticking with daring makeup looks.

Big, voluminous gowns like this one are proliferating on the Cannes red carpet this year, and I for one am not at all mad about it. This one is a bit evocative of the classic “wrapping my comforter around myself to greet the food delivery guy” look (though there’s some photo proof that Ashley doesn’t actually have to clasp this closed herself). (And further photo proof of how glam it looks on the famous stairs.) But what can I say, I like something that looks cozy.

This, on the other hand, does not at all look like Coco just rose her hangover bed. The stole (robe? cloak?) doesn’t swallow her, and the fabrics contrast in a playful way. Plus, if you wear evening gloves, this should be your required pose.

Looove this color, those jewels, her makeup—all of it.

The Victoria’s Secret angel looks incredibly elegant in Jason Wu.

I really love the texture of this fabric, but overall the dress giving bridal.

Gorgeous beading. Yet another hit from Raline, whose weekend outfit is up next...

We’ve seen a lot of trains, capes, and volume on the Cannes red carpet this year, but what we haven’t seen is a lot of strong shoulders. Thankfully, Raline has made this her lane. This is magnificent (it’s just as, if not more, powerful from the back) and it’s not her or her dress’s fault that there were puddles!

I think I’d go with a slightly less hoof-inspired heel and maybe nix the necklace, but otherwise: the skirt and tie are phenomenal. Jury’s out on the backless shirt.

I would love to see more dramatic hats on red carpets (and also in the world generally). This witchy interpretation of the no pants trend is great, no notes!

Things I love: sequins and a strong shoulder. The choker feels a bit too heavy for the dress, but she otherwise nailed it.

Big Vegas showgirl vibes. Thrilled that the Indian actor is using those feathered wings sleeves to their full potential.

Obsessed with the matching silk robe, chest detailing, and mani/pedi. This might be one of my favorite Cannes looks this year.

The show these three are at Cannes to premiere (“The Idol”) is already giving me heartburn, but Lily-Rose looks nice; I like the sheer gloves and tights combo. Sam’s pants look too big, and not in a stylish way. Tesfaye is wearing a perfectly serviceable tux.

Late May in the south of France feels a bit warm for a full length coat like this, but his vibes are phenomenal, so to Jeremy, I tip my hat.

Yes!!!! The hat!! The detailing on the robe!! I adore.

Lena’s energy is unmatched; she seems to be having a blast on this red carpet. If her dress makes her this happy, I’m entirely onboard.

Chic, simple, partially nude. A winning combo.

Disco baby bump! Cute.

I believe the embroidery down her leg says, “This Barbie is the shit,” for what it’s worth.

I mean no disrespect to either of these ladies, but I thought this was Emma Chamberlain.

I don’t know why I love sunglasses on a red carpet so much, but I do. And this printed gown with its asymmetrical shoulders is delightful.

These two are Finnish actors, and I am just tickled by Alma’s jumpsuit.

This is one of the cooler looks I’ve ever seen, though I’m not sure it’s giving Cannes red carpet.

Well, those pants are certainly something.

French Riviera showgirl—putting the “can can” in Cannes.

You know what this funky-but-understated dress absolutely did not need? A black leather rosette right under the boobs.

I could not find a solo photo of Luke’s whole outfit but thought you absolutely needed to see it. I am very impressed by the artistry of that makeup.

The mullet of dresses: modest on the right, skin on the left. I mean that as a compliment here.

Perfect. I love the little sparkles reflecting onto her face! I want to see her spin in it!! Ahhh I love this dress!!!

Simi and Tesfaye have been rumored to be dating since February 2022 and were spotted holding hands at Coachella a month ago. This dress is fairly unremarkable, which makes sense if she’s there primarily to support her boyfriend. The color is great!

A slinky leopard dress isn’t breaking any fashion barriers, but Eva looks like she’s having a lot of fun in it, and I love that tasteful torso draping. Proceed!

A striking, interesting dress with a pop of a color we don’t often see on the red carpet (and I love that her ring is the same green).

The visible seams on this make it look very cheap, plus the sleeves are clearly too big on her. She needs a new stylist.