He looks excellent in a suit. He is very cool. He has action genre credentials, thanks to Umbrella Academy and X-Men. Sure, he’s pissed off armies of right-wingers for merely existing, but other than that, he’s stayed fairly private and underground. Your first trans James Bond, ladies and gents!

Sure, I think most of the English-speaking world knows this man as either Gossip Girl’s “Lonely Boy” or a serial-killing hottie on You. But as he emphasized throughout You Season 4's press tour earlier this year, he’s looking for a new kind of role, one that allows him to be more than some sappy leading man in a YA romance. And, honestly, I just really see him as Bond. Only caveat is... things do get pretty steamy between 007 and his Bond girls, and as Badgley has expressed on numerous occasions, that’s a boundary he’s not trying to cross these days.

OK, fine, he’s 40, but he’s also Kieran Culkin. A short king and a sassy one, he would absolutely kill as Bond, fighting off Jeremy Strong and Brian Cox as billionaire Bond villains and making one devastating joke after another every step of the way.

If you’ve been following my work on Jezebel dot com for long enough, you can’t possibly be surprised by the inclusion of this slide. Allow me to make my case for my no. 1 NBA husband: 1) tall, 2) handsome, 3) have you seen him in a suit? 4) or, for that matter, in a beautiful shiny sports car?? and 5) he is very athletic!! I bet he could do his own stunts!! Sure, there’s the small problem of “he has zero acting experience,” but those who actively watch the NBA know it’s 97% theater—faking that you were hurt to get to the free throw line, pretending to feud and get into fights with other players to boost ratings, etc. Devin’s got all of that down pat. Someone needs to get me on the phone with Debbie McWilliams immediately.

The Bridgerton Season 2 break-out star unbelievably managed to make the show’s second season hornier than its first (quite a feat!), thanks to his suave, cool-under-pressure demeanor. This man was practically made in a lab to be James Bond. And, like Lukas Gage, Bailey is also openly LBGTQ—no more boring straight James Bonds in 2023, pls.

Few have heard of the little-known, indie star known as “Michael B. Jordan.” In fact, this is the first that I, personally, am hearing of him! OK, fine. Fine. He’s a fucking mega-star. But tell me you don’t see the vision...

Sure, Trevor Noah is fairly on the map, especially among the nerds (myself included) who religiously followed his Daily Show tenure. But I think we could use a funny James Bond—much-needed representation for funny communities!—and Noah has fittingly told a fair amount of Bond jokes, particularly musing about why the franchise has never cast a Black Bond. Let’s fix that!!

The self-identified former front-man of One Direction is reportedly hurting for a role to give him relevance these days—so much so that he’s even actively seeking out a 1D reunion, lately. Sure, he won’t hit 30 until next year, but... why not indulge him, considering he’d be 30 by the time the film came out? I imagine he has bills to pay, and I’ve never seen a star come alive like a new actor, teetering on unemployment days before rent is due.

A man of international mystery and intrigue... no one knows who he really is... he has a gift for inventing and reinventing himself... he’s infiltrated the U.S. government... Face it: Rep. George Santos (R-N.Y.)—with his penchant for lying, deceiving, wearing costumes, pretending to be a bunch of things he is not, and generally just acting—would make for a pretty compelling James Bond, no?