Devin Booker, You Shouldn’t Be Alone Tonight: Part 2

Phoenix Suns star Devin Booker and Kendall Jenner have reportedly broken up yet again, months after splitting in June only to patch things up by July. This, their sophomore break-up, reportedly took place very quietly some time last month, though Jenner still dedicated a romantic Instagram birthday post to Booker on Oct. 30.

On Monday, a source told People (which has reported a lot of news like this of late): “Both have incredibly busy schedules right now with their careers and they’ve decided to make that a priority.” A different source told the magazine: “They have a lot of love and respect for each other and wish only the best.” Another unnamed “insider” elaborated further, claiming the decision to end their nearly three-year romance was “mutual and just came down to timing,” and the two “plan to stay in touch.”

As Jezebel’s Laura Bassett put it in Jezebel’s first round of in-memoriam coverage dedicated to the couple’s split in June:

It all seemed so perfect. The pair started as friends. They went on a road trip together to Sedona in his Mercedes-Benz Maybach in 2020, the height of the pandemic, for “some much needed air”—still as “friends.” They made the romance official at some point after that, which led to Kendall wearing Devin’s Olympic gold medal on a boat on a lake somewhere looking extremely hot in a bikini. Super relatable all around.

Back then, sources attributed the split to Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker’s May wedding and the realizations it sparked for Jenner and Booker. Whatever those “realizations” were, they didn’t keep the duo apart for long; within weeks, they were once again featuring heavily on each other’s Instagram stories, idly vacationing it up in Hawaii during Booker’s off-season, burying all memories of the outcome of Game 7 of the Suns-Mavericks series on May 15, 2022.

Now, I could lie and pretend to be saddened by this news. But that wouldn’t be very honest journalism. I’ve always imagined Devin Booker with…someone else. A writer-type. A more prolific and forthright tweeter. Someone who could naturally assume the role of gentle, loving stepmother to Booker’s brooding cane corso Haven—perhaps a dog-mom herself. Someone who shares his appreciation for this nation’s last great culinary staples, like, say, Applebee’s or Hooters, which is famously tastier “with the fellas.” A woman of unimpeachable loyalty, a woman who might generally find Mr. Luka Dončić to be very pleasant, but would turn on and cyberbully him into oblivion at a word from Booker’s supple lips. A woman who finds Booker to be just as pleasing in victory as in loss.

A woman… like me.

Now, I wish Kendall Jenner all the best—perhaps she might slide into the DMs of her recently-single ex Harry Styles?—but she had her chance with Booker. She had three years to get her billionaire sisters to buy the Dallas Mavericks, destroy, and sell the team for parts. She had three years to tweet with zero context, “I’m thinking hooters tonight with the fellas.” Now, it’s another slightly shorter, slightly poorer, substantially more unhinged woman’s time to shine.

Devin Booker, once again: You shouldn’t be alone tonight.