Ending a long relationship comes with a lot of negatives: figuring out who gets the proverbial wagon wheel coffee table, that inevitable 3 a.m. text wondering where it all went wrong, all dating apps. But a positive aspect of suddenly finding oneself single again is using this feckless period as an opportunity to tongue kiss all the woulds in your life now that you are free to admit you had long been quasi-interested in boning them. Miley Cyrus, for instance, seems to be making time to kiss all her hottest single friends now that she is unencumbered by spousal commitments. Good on her!
After a summer spent rubbing expensive bathing suits in Italy with Kaitlynn Carter in the wake of the recent split with soon-to-be-ex-husband Liam Hemsworth, Cyrus has most recently been spotting kissing a person called Cody Simpson at a smoothie bowl place. Simpson, who previously dated also newly-single Gigi Hadid, has all the qualities that make for an excellent rebound—he is attractive and nearby.
Cyrus is also making new music, purporting herself to be “so fucking inspired” on Instagram. That post-breakup burst of energy is also right on schedule. Expect a new, drastic hairstyle any day now. I am still growing out my bad breakup undercut from years ago, so godspeed Miley. [Harper’s Bazaar]
Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan’s relationship with the press is pretty fucking toxic and weird. On one hand, the royals are meant to be the public face of Britain. Like, that is the only point of their whole family. On the other, the paparazzi was responsible for the death of Princess Diana and is openly racist and all-round shitty to Meghan. And while Harry and Meghan need The Daily Mail to publish pictures of them regally waving in Africa, they would, not unreasonably, rather the media not wiretap their phones.
Days after Prince Harry released a statement begging the press to let Princess Meghan breathe, Buckingham Palace has announced a new lawsuit against the parent companies of The Sun and The Mirror over the allegedly illegal interception of some voicemails. Additionally, Harry and Meghan are suing the Mail over the publication of a private letter sent by Meghan to her father.
- If Scott Disick did not want to be in a hot tub with his ex and current girlfriends, he should not have flown to Finland specifically for that purpose. [Us Weekly]
- The Instagram model who was not Travis Scott’s mistress says move along, nothing to see here. Will do! [E! News]
- Justin Bieber says his predilection for fancy-ass animals and not dumpster rescues is just a preference. [Page Six]
- In light of Chrissy Teigen’s new tattoo, I would like to retract Thursday’s opinion that all tattoos are fine. This is not the first time Teigen has proven me wrong and is probably not the last. [New York Post]
- Ronnie Ortiz-Magro remains utterly terrible. [E! News]