Welcome to Jezebel’s coverage of the 65th Annual Grammy Awards—held at the unfortunately named Crypto.com Arena in Los Angeles. There’s definitely plenty of potential for excitement—we’ve got a stacked New Artist category and confirmed performances by Harry Styles (fun), Mary J.Blige (nice!), and Bad Bunny (hot). Trevor Noah is hosting for the third year in a row. (I know, but before you yawn or make a joke about his name being Trevor No-laughs-ah, keep in mind that he left The Daily Show in December—which should have given him more than enough time to write some new, actually funny jokes. Or at least amusing ones. Third time’s a charm.)
Noah also told People that we can expect a “surprise” performance from a “favorite female artist,” which, huge! But if it’s not Taylor Swift or Beyoncé then I will personally start the Change.org petition to permanently ban Noah from all future hosting opportunities. Enough is enough.
The ceremony hasn’t even started, and Viola Davis has already EGOT-ed and Beyoncé has already won Best Dance/Electronic Recording for “Break My Soul”—placing her three trophies away from becoming the most decorated artist of all time. (Also, if Adele manages to win Album of the Year over Beyoncé then I fully expect people to riot.)
In the meantime, the red carpet is already serving drama. So let us judge the fuck out of all these hot, successful people and the designer getups their stylists convinced them to wear tonight, for better or worse.