It Took Us 12 Minutes to Figure Out Who This Woman Is
Who the fuck is this very famous woman I feel as though I’ve known all my life but somehow cannot recognize? Mom?!
Celebrities
Friday morning began easily enough until I—against my better judgment and in spite of everything I’ve learned over the last decade of my life—signed onto Twitter. Immediately, I was ambushed with photos of a blonde woman who looked extremely familiar yet completely unplaceable. Was she an actress? A morning host? A housewife? The wife of an actress? A morning host? A housewife’s ex-husband?
Then I noticed the Republic Records step and repeat—maybe she’s a songwriter? A producer? Is she the president of Republic Records? Who the fuck is this woman I feel as though I’ve known all my life? Mom?!
I stared for what felt like hours. Nothing. I asked my co-workers if they could guess who this was. Surely I was just tired—I had some weird dreams last night so maybe that was messing with my people-recognition-functionality or whatever. But sure enough, my co-workers were just as perplexed: Guesses varied from Bebe Rexha to Maria Menounos to Paula Abdul to Selma Blair to Shakira. We KNEW we all recognized this very famous person—yet not one of us could name her.