Tom Sandoval Regrets Cheating, Says #Scandoval Felt Like ‘Being Wanted for a Triple Homicide’

“At one point, dude, I didn’t shower or change my clothes for like, almost a week,” Sandoval added for emphasis.

The conversation got darker as he remembered a break from touring with Tom Sandoval and the Most Extras during which his ex-partner, Ariana Madix, was shooting this advertisement for Duracell that was, as he noted, “poking fun at me and everything that makes me me” (read: white nail polish and “something long lasting”).

“When you get into that space mentally…” Sandoval then trailed off before recalling an instance at The Grove in which he saw Chester Bennington, the late front man of Linkin Park who ended his life in 2017. “He was animated, energetic on the phone and literally days later, he died, he killed himself, and I could never understand why.”

“When you get into that, you know, headspace, it’s like a domino effect. Your world starts collapsing on itself,” Sandoval continued. “You can’t see outside of your feelings. Your ability to snap out of it goes away. There were some times where I felt very, very close.” It was an all-around shocking, sad admission—one that nothing on a reality television show could justify.

Then, Sandoval brought up Rachel (formerly “Raquel”) Leviss, the other woman at the center of #Scandoval. He claimed he hasn’t been in contact with Leviss since the end of June, but remembered how when she went “away” to a mental health treatment center, he spent many a day waiting on her call. Apparently, she only received one each day, like a county jail.

“I was constantly waiting there, and some days, I wouldn’t get that call and it would really affect my mood,” he said. He also described filming with Leviss after news of #Scandoval broke as “like making out with like, your mistress at your wife’s funeral.” Nice!

The episode concluded with Sandoval addressing Madix (who he still shares a home with), with yet another apology for cheating in which he referred to himself as “fuckin’ selfish.” However, never not quick to justify his own behavior, he explained that he simply “felt trapped” and “rebelled in the worst way possible” because he was “so unhappy” in his life.

“All I can do is just try to be better,” Sandoval said as the podcast faded to black. End scene!