Will the drama ever cease in the Kardashian household? Hot on the heels of the startling tabloid revelation that Scott has cheated on Kourtney over 100 times (who has that kind of energy?), TMZ has uncovered more proof that Disick is probably getting it on with another woman. Possibly right now as you’re reading this!
According to TMZ, Disick was spotted last night canoodling (I love this word and will use it at any opportunity) with a “fringe celebrity” in “romantic” Monte Carlo. The photos you can see on TMZ are hardly incriminating (Scott being fed). In fact, if you had shown me the photos without the headline I would not be surprised to see that Lord Disick was being fed by a woman who is not his wife. But that’s not because I think LD cheats on Kourtney, it’s because I fully believe that he never does a thing on his own and would pay someone to actually feed him so his arms don’t get tired. (How great would it be if the next Kardashian spinoff was a show in which Scott Disick has others do things for him while his muscles slowly atrophy and he becomes bed-ridden? I think it would be an excellent SyFy crossover.)
TMZ reports that Kourtney K went to a gun range this week, which could mean that she just likes shooting guns in her spare time or is preparing to shoot Scott dead once he returns home and the E! cameras are rolling. (Another spinoff idea: Kourtney Kardashian, Bounty Hunter.)
[TMZ]
Another big scoop from TMZ: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are on vacation together in the Bahamas. Apparently, the vacation was set before the divorce (inconvenient) so the soon-to-be divorcees decided to go for the sake of their children. According to sources, Ben and Jen’s top priority is their kids and they’ll do anything to keep them happy, even a sequel to 13 Going On 30 (come onnnn, Jennifer Garner! Judy Greer needs work!).
While the divorce seems amicable, a source reports to TMZ that there’s a lot of tension between Ben and Jen right now. Uh, yeah, that’s because they’re getting a divorce. [TMZ]
- Speaking of Judy Greer, she’s just joined the cast of Wilson, a movie based on a Daniel Clowes book. She’s kept humble, though. Her latest few tweets are about drinking whiskey and sneaking cats into the house when her husband isn’t paying attention. Right there with you, Judy. Just because it didn’t work for me, doesn’t mean it won’t work for you! [A.V. Club]
- Christy Carlson Romano, who brought us the most interesting rendition of “Colors of the Wind” is upset with VH1, which lumped her into a post about Disney stars who failed to ignite the same buzz as Miley or Shia. Carlson tweeted “Too bad I only have an Ivy league education,multiple Broadway credits & Emmy nom to fall back on.
#shittyjournalism” in response to the accusations before retweeting a Chris Crocker quote about haters and wishing Ashley Tisdale (another fallen star who made the list) a happy birthday. [Twitter] - Matt Damon has a weave now. I wish Ellie was around for an emergency “Would U” but she’s probably on the jitney to the Hamptons right now, so we’re just going to have to settle it in the comments. WOULD U: Matt Damon with a weave? [Celebitchy]
- Roberto Cavalli (74) bought his girlfriend (29) an island with an actual fortress on it in Sweden. There’s no joke here because I am jealous as fuck. [The Daily Mail]
- Vince Vaughn allegedly hates disabled kids, everyone, probably you. [Celebitchy]
- Calvin Harris loves his girlfriend Becky. [Just Jared]
- It’s Kimmy Gibbler’s birthday! [Dlisted]
- Marisa Tomei, who remains ageless due to her strict diet of cantaloupe, melba toast, and the still-gushing blood of Hollywood hopefuls, will play a lesbian billionaire on next season’s Empire.
It’s Friday, so I’d like to help you end your week/start your drinking with a very special video which has always been close to my heart. Yes, it’s the one in which Steve Guttenberg is revealed to be a naked jogger. Happy Independence Day, Steve Guttenberg’s balls!
Contact the author at mark.shrayber@jezebel.com.
Lead image via Getty