If you love reading wacky Craigslist ads and have ever thought how can I turn this hobby into a rewarding and lucrative career, then we have the answer to all your dreams.
It's no secret that there's a good deal of Internet jokesters who like to make up fake ads and prank us evil bloggers so they can brag about it on Reddit. At this point, it feels like we're all in on the joke together. Sometimes it's easy to pick out the fakers and other times, you know in your heart that the man selling a dead stuffed bobcat glued to a piece of driftwood is the most genuine, real human being on the face of the Earth.
But this (possibly fake) Craigslist ad introduces some next level shit. This poster is advertising n Craigslist for writers who want to fulfill their lifelong dream of making up bullshit for Craigslist and reward them handsomely for it. And the best part is, you don't even have to come up with your own original ideas at first! They went ahead and made a list of some absolute winners for you.
Behold the ad for fake ads below. I'm pretty sure this Craigslist ad now holds the record for the most use of the word "like" ever in the site's history.
Hey guys! This might be a little weird.
That's OK; it wouldn't be a Craigslist party if it weren't a little bit weird.
You know how you see those Craiglist joke ads on Gawker or the Daily Beast or whatever all the time? Well anyway, those are hilarious, but I'm TERRIBLE at writing jokes! I'd like to hire YOU to write some funny Craigslist bits for me.
If you think "wait, how hard can it be to write a bunch of dumb Craigslist ads," you haven't seen just how high this poster is reaching. And when I say "high" I mean whoever posted this was probably really, really fucking high:
I wanna make sure you guys all know this is NOT a bit. I know it sounds like a bit, but it's decidedly not. This is a REAL job. So if you're one of those UCB people (no Magnet or PIT) or like, HILARIOUS on Vine or Twitter or something be sure to hit me up because I have tons of great ideas for hilarious bits.
Here's some off the top of my head—
- You could do one about how you lost your YO-YO because then it's like "LOL What?! Who has a Yo-Yo anymore?" and then maybe someone will screengrab it and put it on tumblr? Who knows, you're the guy or girl.
- What about one where it's like, a missed connection and then in the end you realize it's a mirror and you're talking about yourself? Who knows.
DUDE THAT IS LIKE SO TOTALLY DEEP. I am the girl at Starbucks who laughed when I said we had the same order. I am the guy at the gas station who I think smiled at me when I was paying for my Mr. Goodbar. I am the girl working the counter at the Pep Boys who asked if she could order the Indianapolis Colts seat covers I was looking for who I feel like was trying to connect with me on a deeper level. I am the super tan guy who gave me his seat on the bus and said "no problem" when I thanked him. I am my own Missed Connection.
- We could do one too where it's like you're a dog walker but it's a pun and you're a DOG who can WALK. Get it?
- Do like a missed connection but about your fathers' love.
- What about like, one where you're Seth Meyers and you're like, trying to sell an old nintendo controller.
OMG what about a missed connection for a remote you lost in the couch. HAHAH.
Nothing says comedy genius like someone laughing at their mere conception of their own jokes.
- Something about ducks.
Anything about ducks, really. Maybe just type the word "ducks" over and over again. Go with where your soul takes you on this one. Here is some possible inspiration for your Craigslist duck masterwork.
- Do like, a Raymond Carver thing but it's looking for a job and you're real sad and shit.
OK, now do Dashiell Hammett trying to unload a slightly worn couch but sort of edgier and shit.
BTW, this gig pays $50 per fake Craigslist post! That's easy money! I could probably write like 10 of these a night. I wonder like if this could be like opportunity like knocking at my door. Like, you know?
Image via Shutterstock.