Are you still stumped about what to get your favorite loved ones for Christmas? This Craigslist ad—possibly one of the greatest ever—has the perfect solution for you.

Craigslist. It's your one-stop shop for creepy sex ads and stupid Christmas shit. It's hard to understand how Craigslist posters continually one-up themselves, but for some miraculous reason they always do. Case in point: This spectacularly bizarre ad from a semi-disgruntled taxidermy enthusiast in Nashville who got stuck with a slightly damaged dead stuffed bobcat. Fell the Chariots of Fire-esque glory in his words as he explains how he took life by the balls and fixed the taxidermy disaster.

Here is the ad, in all its CAPSLOCK glory:

I BOUGHT THIS VINTAGE BOB CAT AND IT WAS DAMAGED IN SHIPPING. IT'S BACK RIGHT LEG WAS BROKEN IN TWO PLACES

IT WAS MOUNTED ON SOLID FOAM AND HEAVY WIRE FORM SO IT WAS STABLE

I CLEANED AND REFURBISHED IT.

i REPAIRED THE LEG AND SECURED THE CAT TO A BEAUTIFUL LARGE PIECE OF DRIFT WOOD, I HID THE REPAIR WITH THE LARGE ANIMAL PRINT SILK FLOWER AND ADDED MOSSES, GRASSES ETC. 25 IN TALL 27 IN. LONG HAS ALL NAILS GREAT OPEN MOUTH POSE

CHECK OUT PHOTOS

He's also selling it as tree trim (?????) in another ad on Craigslist:

I HAVE LARGE TAXIDERMIED BOB CAT DISPLAY ON LARGE BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF DRIFT WOOD WITH ANIMAL PRINT SILK FLOWER , DRIED MOSSES AND GRASSES ETC.

VINTAGE, BUT CLEANED AND REFURBISHED ALL NAILS

IN ATTACK POSITION, BUT NOT VICIOUS LOOKING GREAT OPEN MOUTH POSE

I NEED TREE WORK DONE ON LARGE MAPLE TREE

I WANT IT CUT WAY BACK AND ONE LIMB REMOVED

EVEN TRADE, DISPLAY WORTH ABOUT 250.00

HAVE MORE PHOTOS

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MERRY CHRISTMAS TRY NOT TO BE CREEPED OUT BY THE BIZARRE SCREAMING BOBCAT GLUED TO DRIFTWOOD IN THE CORNER.

Images via Craigslist.