Prince Charles and Prince Harry's Relationship Might Never Recover

Illustration for article titled Prince Charles and Prince Harry's Relationship Might Never Recover
Image: Paul Ellis / AFP (Getty Images)

Here is a big, flaky slice of Beef Wellington, served piping hot, courtesy of Buckingham Palace and those pesky Windsors: It seems like Prince Charles and Prince Harry are gonna have a rough go of it moving forward, in the wake of that big interview.

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Various sources from across the pond are reporting that the seeds of a massive family feud have been planted because Chazzer is having a hard time “moving on,” even though his mother, Queen Elizabeth, would like him to stop being such a pissy lil’ bitch and to get over it.

Here’s the word from the palace “insider,” courtesy of Us Weekly:

“With the way things are going, Charles may never forgive Harry, which hasn’t gone down well with Elizabeth. She feels that he’s putting his pride before the best interest of the monarchy. She has enough on her plate dealing with the loss of her husband. It’s drama she can do without.”

Listen, not to stan monarchy, but Queen Elizabeth is old as shit, her husband of a gajillion years just died, and she still has to do stuff like open the red box with all her papers in it, and wave at crowds and, I don’t know, her job!! Her son, Prince Charles, is 72 years old. He is the father. He should be the adult here, but I guess we’re past that point now.

Even though Prince William and Kate Middleton are now managing their careers as YouTubers, William has found the time and the fortitude of spirit to be the bigger person and to speak to his brother. (In case you are wondering what it looks like for monarchs to do like the common people, please see below.)

Anyway, Charles is being a pain in the butt, and Wills and Kate are forging ahead as vloggers. Smash that like button if you want more Windsor content! Leave a comment if you think William should tell his Papa to stop being such a mule. [Us Weekly]


Maybe you heard that Marky Mark gained a bunch of weight in a short amount of time in preparation for a role. He is trying to eat 7,000 calories a day, like a football player or a sumo wrestler. Good for him. Here is an annotated list of what he is eating, which sounds very much like the Gaston diet, should such a thing exist:

  • Four eggs, then eight eggs sometime after
  • 6 strips of bacon
  • One cup of rice
  • Veal chops, pork chops, steak, grains, eaten every “three hours”
  • “a mash that consists of one cup of cooked steel-cut oatmeal, two tablespoons of applesauce, two tablespoons of jelly or jam, two tablespoons of almond butter and a tablespoon of molasses.”
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I feel ill and must now recline, which I am sure is how Marky Mark feels too. [Page Six]


  • Chloe Sevigny brought her baby to see art. [Page Six]
  • Nicole Scherzinger is enoying Hawaii. [Us Weekly]
  • I have to assume this relationship will end soon? [Us Weekly]

Senior Writer, Jezebel

DISCUSSION

perfectlyquaffed
PerfectlyQuaffed

Marky Mark’s toilet is definitely going to feel the vibration.