Pop Star Attire Is Crusty/Casual On The Red Carpet

Illustration for article titled Pop Star Attire Is Crusty/Casual On The Red Carpet

Most celebs dressed down for Saturday's day-long concert event at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, with varied results.

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Illustration for article titled Pop Star Attire Is Crusty/Casual On The Red Carpet

Britney was the special guest host this year. Anytime she doesn't have her extensions messily gathered into a ponytail or isn't wearing something with Starbucks stains on it, it's kind of a win for her. Still, one deep look into her face and all you can see is that dead-eyed, "Time to make the donuts" vibe. It's kind of sad, in some instances, when life imitates art (minus the glamour).


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Illustration for article titled Pop Star Attire Is Crusty/Casual On The Red Carpet

Do you think this is Jordin Sparks' purity ring? I hope she doesn't hurt herself climbing up on her "Sluts are bad!" soapbox in those shoes.


Illustration for article titled Pop Star Attire Is Crusty/Casual On The Red Carpet
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Nick Cannon wears the mantra that plays on a loop in his head—that he would never dare vocalize—whenever his wife tells him it's his turn to do the dishes because she's the bestselling female artist of all time. And in one simple T-shirt, JC Chasez reminds us that he was once a Mouseketeer and that, at 34, he's comparatively an ancient person at this event.


Illustration for article titled Pop Star Attire Is Crusty/Casual On The Red Carpet
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I like that Far East Movement coordinated on their look, but did so without looking too matchy-matchy.


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Who does Joe Jonas think he's fooling? He may be wearing a leather jacket, but it doesn't hide the fact that he's wearing a mismatched Canadian tux yet again. OK, and this guy next to him: Whatever about his outfit—his name is Chord Overstreet, which I understand is supposed to be like a musical chord, but it just doesn't read like that. Chord, tell your mom I'm mad at her.


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What's the deal with Sasha Jackson's prison tattoo? Is it even real? Did she just write on herself with a Bic pen? I blame Ke$ha for this kind of thing.


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Oh, speak of the devil…I don't know what it is, but there's just something about her that's so two-day-old underpants. You know? Like when you have no other choice but to put on a pair of panties that have dry discharge on them, and then the heat from your body reconstitutes it. That's Ke$ha's look to me—reconstituted vaginal discharge.


Illustration for article titled Pop Star Attire Is Crusty/Casual On The Red Carpet
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But we all know that the real lady thing to do is just not wear the underwear at all.

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DISCUSSION

KittyConner
Kitty Conner

Paris Hilton is going to refuse to age gracefully, isn't she? She IS Heiress Barbie, damn it. And Heiress Barbie will do what it takes to look 21 forever and ever. And ever.

I mean, it makes sense. She did the hyper-sexualized 12 year-old thing for her twenties. A decade or two of being 21 at thirtysomething is just sensible math.