Please Let Kim Kardashian Triumph In This Non-Existent Beef With Debra Messing

Though I am not famous and have no designs on becoming famous, I understand that appearing on SNL is part of the journey to celebrity. Kim Kardashian is already pretty famous, and though she is not famous via the traditional channels, it makes complete sense that she’ll be hosting this program. Most people would agree, even if they don’t love the idea, but you know who doesn’t? Debra Messing. Okay!

Here is the tweet that is perhaps the first shot fired in this beef, which I believe will be non-existent.

If we are to be pedantic here, Messing answered her own question: Kim Kardashian is a “cultural icon,” and while other hosts of this show are traditionally there to promote an album or Marvel movie or whatever, what Messing is (willfully) missing is that Kim’s ultimate product is herself. She is both the storefront and the product! She’s the whole thing. She’s got a fairly successful panty brand, her show was on TV for like one hundred and twenty-five years, and she will be returning to TV in some capacity on Hulu. We will never be free of the Kardashians and railing against that is pointless, because they are a part of the culture, whether you like it or not!

Will Kim do well on SNL? I have no idea, but I do think she can read a cue card, so that’s something. Arguably, Kim wouldn’t be my first choice from the clan of Calabasas witches-–Khloé is funnier, but she’s JV—though she is the only choice that makes any sense. Kourtney is busy doing dry-humping with Travis Barker, and enjoying her newfound freedom as a woman dating a man who looks capable of giving her an orgasm. Kendall doesn’t want it. No one asked Kylie, and Khloé probably would’ve said no. Kim has always been the spokesperson for the brand, and she is its best-selling product. Savvy businesswoman that she is, she’s gonna do this, and even if it’s terrible, it will prove that she has a sense of humor about herself. Great ROI, if all goes well, and even if it doesn’t, still not too shabby.

But, back to this beef, which I believe is nothing more than Messing having a think about why she was never on SNL when she starred in Will and Grace: This is not beef. It’s barely a hamburger. It’s a crumble of ground beef at the bottom of the pan after you finish scraping out the bolognese into the Tupperware before you put it in the fridge. It’s nothing at all. [NY Post]

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This, on the other hand, is prime rib, a juicy filet mignon, a large and in-charge T-bone steak the size of your head, and it is delicious. It seems the girls are fighting, and by that, I mean Joe Rogan and Howard Stern fans are sniping at each other on the socials because Howard called Joe an idiot for saying that he’s too manly to get vaccinated.

Technically, Howard said all of this stuff on his show last week, but now both sides of this camp are up in arms and taking their opinions online in defense of their gods—two radio men, one with lots of hair, and the other, not so much, who are sort of cut from the same cloth, except that Howie developed either empathy or vulnerability and Rogan has not.

Here’s what Howard said:

“I heard Joe Rogan was saying, ‘What are you busting my balls [for]? I took horse de-wormer and a doctor gave it to me.’ Well a doctor would also give you a vaccine, so why take horse-dewormer? “We have no time for idiots in this country anymore. We don’t want you.”

Put down the horsey pills. Just! Get! Vaccinated! Please. Thank you. [Uproxx]

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• Some more messy developments in the Erika Jayne-Tom Girardi fracas. [Page Six]
• Sarah Jessica Parker is “not ready” to address Willie Garson’s death, and frankly, neither am I. [People]
• Holy shit, Linda Evangelista has poked her head out of hiding to say that the reason she’s been out of the public eye for the past five years is because she was left “permanently deformed” and forced to become a “recluse” after a botched CoolSculpting regimen??? [Instagram]
• No more updates from David Foster’s horny goat-ass self, thank you. [Us Weekly]