

Last I heard, Jennifer Lopez and A-Rod were not quite broken up, but not quite together, existing in that liminal space that happens when you are an adult and a relationship is not quite what either person wants, but also, you’re old, still hot, but old kinda, so you have to sit down, look at what’s in front of you, and see if it will work. Most people engage in this practice via passive-aggressive text messages and pointed suggestions about couple’s therapy, but if you are A-Rod, you will fly to the Dominican Republic where your beloved is doing work, sign some baseball cards on the private plane, and figure your shit out.
Maybe these two did not break up, as previously stated. Maybe they are doing the adult thing as described above. Also, maybe the rumors about A-Rod doing FaceTime cheating (I’m reading between the lines here, she maintains she’s “never met him in person”) with Madison LeCroy from Southern Charm are true. If I were Jennifer Lopez and I had decided that a former baseball man was the one for me for now, for the meantime, and I found out he was allegedly, maybe, doing FaceTime sex (???) with some blonde woman from Bravo, I would perhaps make a stink so large that it would seem like we’d broken up, even though that was not my intention at all. Perhaps that’s what’s happening here, yeah?