Another day, another exciting Kardashian drama to uncover and explore. Today's big to-do, involving Kim and Kylie as well as Khloe, Tyga and now Wiz Khalifa (he follows Kardashians on Twitter) started with Amber Rose calling Kim names and is ending with an offensive drawing of the model. Wait, why? What's going on here?
While someone else has already described the drama in detail for you (thank god, because I just read TMZ's coverage and understand absolutely nothing about it except that sometimes people are mean on Twitter) I'm here to talk about the latest news. And the latest news is this: Everyone in this is awful, but especially Jonathan Cheban, founder of The Dishh (I just got why there's a double h, because it's like a whisper!) and Kim Kardashian's BFF, who just posted this lovely monstrosity which is getting fans of both women riled up and discussing who "the real whore" is. Trust me, everyone's a loser here.
The photo is already off Instagram, but it's found a new home on The Dishh, where Cheban (allegedly! The post is written by "staff") writes that Amber Rose basically needs to stop talking because as a former stripper she has no business discussing anyone's relationship. That makes no sense to me, mainly because Amber Rose's initial beef was with the fact that Tyga (25) left Rose's BFF Blac Chyna for Kylie Jenner (17). Yeah, I know no one's going to jail over this, but just because Rose was an exotic dancer doesn't mean she can't express that it's creepy that a 25-year-old and 17-year-old are dating (it is creepy). And there doesn't seem to be any reason for Cheban to get involved. Why is he posting photos of a cartoon Rose with a stripper tattoo, money hanging out of her ass and pictures of a whole bunch of famous black men on her back.?What is this? Are we in 7th grade? Why is this making me really anxious about a food fight in the cafeteria?
Of course, fans are now weighing in and you can rest assured that you will likely hear about nothing else this week. It doesn't matter whether an alien species crash lands on earth and tries toimprison us between now and Friday because all we'll be discussing whether Amber Rose is a "whore" for "talking shit" or whether Kim is a "bigger whore" because she made a sex tape. How about we discuss something more important for a change, like how we can get these celebrities to stop shouting long enough so that those of us who write Dirt Bag have a chance to breathe before "breaking news" on this feud. Wait, is this a feud now? Could someone confirm? [TMZ/The Dishh]
In actual upsetting news, Ray J (Kim Kardashian's former flame) was allegedly beaten by girlfriend Princess Love in New Orleans last week. After Love was arrested and charged with domestic abuse and battery, Ray J allegedly paid her $10,000 bail. Of course, people on the internet (primarily Twitter) are already making fun of Ray J for allowing a woman to beat him up and making it harder for male victims of domestic violence to come forward. Great job, people on Twitter! Great Job! [Gossip Cop]
- Drake is also unhappy with the May/July relationship Kylie Jenner and Tyga are in, in case anyone was wondering. [Star]
- Bobbi Kristina will not be taken off life support this week. [E!]
- Something about Iggy Australia. [TMZ]
- Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban had a nice Valentine's Day, thank you for asking! You know who else had a nice Valentine's Day? Me! I visited a "haunted dungeon" and got a free tote bag with purchase of my souvenir photo, which is probably what Kidman and Urban did too. [JustJared]
- Paloma Faith is sorry she came after Taylor Swift. [ONTD]
- Benedict Cumberbatch is now on his honeymoon, probably doing something romantic. Here, let me twist that knife a little further for you. No problem at all, just a little service I offer! [Celebitchy]
- Here's a rundown of all of Gwyneth Paltrow's best advice for living. [Pajiba]
- Jennifer Aniston had a great birthday party and everyone was there except you. And me. And anyone else who is not famous or lucky enough to be friends with Jennifer Aniston, whom I am desperate to be friends with, to be honest. I hope she's reading this. Are you reading this, Jen? I also love Aveeno and water and bowling! [Us]
This...this is for you.
Lead Images via Getty
DISCUSSION
Who's the Biggest Whore
It's me. I'm taking this one for the team. The title of Biggest Whore belongs to me and my line in perpetuity. Thus ends all debate forever of who is a bigger whore.
Respectfully
Right Honorable Agent Tremble, Biggest Whore