I Cannot Look Away From This Intense New YouTube 'Couple'

I love a fake relationship set up for promotional purposes as much as the next cynic, but I worship the conscious coupling of Aaron Carter and YouTuber Trisha Paytas. I can’t think of a more intense pairing of pseudo-celebrities, and I cannot wait to see how this implodes. Think of all of the vlogs, people!

Allow me to walk through the stages of Trishron, as they should henceforth be known. Last month, Trisha tweeted about hooking up with Carter and potentially filming a sex tape with him, which, coincidentally, is also how all of my relationships begin:

On Sunday, September 1, Trisha went live on Instagram and posted perhaps the most fabricated fake kiss I’ve seen in quite some time (and I’ve been following the endless kissing of Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello):

The grody video mostly led people to assume they were doing it for the headlines—as they should be, especially Carter, who could really use the distraction from his comments about Michael Jackson to his really worrisome gun purchases—but it did appear to validate Paytas’s horny-on-main Tweets. Carter posted his own video that has since expired, but here’s a fun edit a fan made:

I’m a big fan of the hashtag #instalove in the caption, as if saying “this is totally a real thing... on Instagram and no where else.”

On Monday, September 2, Aaron Carter tweeted that he is actually single, having just gotten out of a year-long relationship with artist Lina Valentina. The kisses? They meant nothing.

Something like 12 hours later Paytas Tweeted that she agrees, they definitely aren’t dating, they just kiss like brother and sister. Excuse me?:

Which brings us to Tuesday, September 3, when Carter literally tweeted, “thanks for the promo!!!”

And Trisha posted a 24-minute vlog titled “Sunday funday with Aaron.” They go to Best Buy, he’s stoned as hell, they split up, and she goes to Chick-Fil-A alone. Romance.

Gotta love a couple incapable of subtlety. The transparency is refreshing and I’m thirsty for more, baby!