Hell Is This Rose Petal Mess Travis Scott ‘Gifted’ Kylie Jenner for Her 22nd Birthday

Illustration for article titled Hell Is This Rose Petal Mess Travis Scott ‘Gifted’ Kylie Jenner for Her 22nd Birthday
Screenshot: Instagram/Getty

On Valentine’s Day this year, Kanye West surprised Kim Kardashian-West by trapping Kenny G. in their cold, barren home and placing hundreds of individual roses in individual vases around the saxophonist, ensuring he could never escape. There are tons of metaphors to be made here, most of which probably deal with how the wealthy oppress us, but I was mostly pissed that he wasted all those flowers for the ‘gram. But then I saw the hellish rose petal massacre Travis Scott burdened Kylie Jenner in “celebration” of her forthcoming 22nd birthday. He must’ve seen Kimye’s move, thought, “I can be more obnoxious,” and the rest is history.

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Please note baby Stormi Webster in the corner, trapped, wishing for the sweet release of... a regular floor to walk on.

This is obscene. Those flowers must’ve cost hundreds of thousands of dollars—they cover the floor of her grand hall or whatever the hell that poorly decorated foyer is supposed to be, and they are bursting out of giant vases that adorn every table. It’s reminiscent of the blood elevator scene in The Shining, but something tells me dousing her home in human fluid might’ve been a more affordable move.

Naturally, Kylie was delighted by the waste and gratuitous display of wealth, perhaps because she knows she will not be responsible for cleaning it up.

URL: Senior Writer, Jezebel. IRL: Author of the very good book 'LARGER THAN LIFE: A History of Boy Bands from NKOTB to BTS,' out now.

DISCUSSION

Okay, hold the fucking phone.  If those were all just rose petals on the floor, WHY ARE THEY CRUNCHING WHEN SHE WALKS ON THEM.