Chris Pratt and Katherine Schwarzenegger Are Married

On June 8, Chris Pratt and Katherine Schwarzenegger had the wedding we all knew was bound to happen soon.

According to E! News, the two did the thing in San Ysidro Ranch in Montecito, California. Pratt and Schwarzenegger have been dating since June 2018, becoming engaged just six months after they were introduced by Schwarzenegger’s mother, Maria Shriver.

The wedding sounds pretty standard: large train and strapless dress for the bride, string quartet rendition of “What a Wonderful World” that was probably cheesy and sweet at the same time in the grand tradition of weddings. However, Pratt, Schwarzenegger, and Shriver are also all members of Hillsong, an evangelical church with a substantial social media presence and a celebrity following rivaling that of Scientology. Its pastor, Brian Houston, also has some pretty fucked up ideas about the LGBTQ community, writing: “Hillsong Church welcomes ALL people but does not affirm all lifestyles. Put clearly, we do not affirm a gay lifestyle and because of this we do not knowingly have actively gay people in positions of leadership, either paid or unpaid.”

People previously reported that the pair would have “a religious wedding,” a fine thing if your only guests are people who go to your church, but for any guests beyond the Biebers, a Hillsong wedding was probably boring at best and super preachy at worst.

I grew up thinking I didn’t like weddings until I realized that I just didn’t like evangelical Southern Baptist weddings where everyone talks about how great it is to be in a throuple with the lord for several booze-free hours, which is most likely how a Hillsong wedding goes. Hopefully, Anna Farris is far away from the festivities on a beach somewhere with the giant pina colada she deserves.