Aunt Becky's Defense in the College Admissions Scandal Is Literally That She 'Didn't Know'

In mid-March, news broke that actor Lori Loughlin and her husband, the Target fashion designer Mossimo Giannulli, allegedly spent $500,000 on bribes to ensure that heir daughters, Instagram influencer Olivia Jade and the other one, were admitted to the University of Southern California. A month later, they both plead not guilty—after being given additional charges in a “second superseding indictment with conspiring to commit fraud and money laundering,” and after rejecting a first plea deal. Today, the world finally knows why: they, and their lawyers, think they have have an air-tight defense. And that defense is literally, “we didn’t know.”

According to TMZ’s sources, the couple claim they did not know the money they gave to “college bribery mastermind Rick Singer” was “going to grease the palm of a USC coach to get their daughter into USC.”

From TMZ:

First, ringleader Rick Singer did not tell them how he would use the $500k to get their daughters into the school. Fact… they were aware Rick Singer wanted pics of the girls on a rowing machine, but they say that doesn’t mean they knew the end game.

It’s true… knowledge and intent are key elements to proving bribery, and we’re told Lori and Mossimo’s lawyers are making that a centerpiece of their defense… their only intent is to generally get their daughters into USC by using a “facilitator” who got hundreds of other students into colleges.

One big problem… according to the complaint, Giannulli—not Loughlin—sent at least $100k directly to the assistant athletic director.

I have about one million follow up questions, but I’ll leave the big ones down below for us all the ruminate on:

• Who gives someone $500,000 to make sure their daughters get into a college and does not ask… how their $500,000 will make sure their daughters get into college?
• Do Loughlin and Giannulli genuinely think a “facilitator” costs $500,000?
• What the fuck is a “facilitator” supposed to be? Like, college prep?
• Why did they give Singer photographs of their daughters and not ask them what they are for?
• Who gives photographs of their daughters working out to strangers?
• Do they really suspect anyone to believe this?
• Will Giannulli go to prison since he clearly sent $100,000 to an assistant athletic director knowing his daughters didn’t row?
• And if so, isn’t it obvious that at least he had knowledge of the bribe?

I’m exhausted. Aunt Becky, if you see this, send me a couple hundred thousand. I won’t tell you what it is for, just trust me.