Anthony Weiner Is Now in Prison

Image via AP.
Image via AP.

Anthony Weiner, a once-popular congressman and later, a promising contender in New York City’s mayoral race, reported to a federal prison in Massachusetts on Monday morning to begin his 21 month sentence for sexting a 15-year-old girl.


Weiner will be serving his time at a facility called Federal Medical Center Devens, where, according to the Department of Justice, sex offenders comprise around 40 percent of the inmate population. The prison offers a treatment regimen described as a “voluntary, intensive, residential therapeutic program for higher risk male sex offenders,” which will presumably be somewhat different than the time Weiner spent riding a horse during luxury sex rehab.

“My crime was my rock bottom” he said during his sentencing in September. “I am an addict. I take complete total responsibility. I was the adult.”

Weiner’s unraveling began way back in the heady days of 2011, when he accidentally tweeted a silhouette of his dick for all the internet to see, an incident that eventually prompted him to resign from Congress. He made a brief reappearance in 2013, declaring himself a changed man and launching what well could have been a successful run for mayor of New York City, had he not gone and done it again.

But by far the most egregious offense occurred after a report surfaced that he had sexted a 15-year-old girl, transforming him overnight from a run-of-the-mill scumbag into a full-fledged sex offender. That news broke in September of 2016, just in time for him to help cost Hillary Clinton the election thanks to his entanglement in her stupid private email practices. Memories!

Weiner spent his final day of freedom “holed up in his Union Square apartment, where a source in the building spotted Weiner’s dad, Morton, getting Starbucks around 11 a.m.,” the New York Post reports. The two spent around five hours together prior to Weiner’s departure, likely because now that his wife and child have rightly left him for good (let us pray), his father is the only one who will deign to be around him.

In more important news, I hope this time away will give Huma Abedin the peace and quiet she needs to finally write that memoir she owes us.



“My crime was my rock bottom” “I am an addict”

Go fuck yourself. I hate this false equivalence of sexual offenders to “addiction”. Addictive drugs are addictive because they create a physiological dependency that can require and benefit from medically assisted detox. It’s clear that some people have higher sex drives than others, but this is different in kind from the way we use the term “addiction”. Sexual offenders can masturbate - nothing is forcing them to assault or solicit the underaged or freaking abuse their power.

I hate when these people seek to abdicate responsibility in the same sentence as claiming to take responsibility. Especially when his heinous actions contributed to swaying the election results at such a crucial point in history.

I can’t wait til all these guys - in politics, entertainment, academia, business, blue-collar jobs are thoroughly routed. It’s been millennia that you’ve been in charge, motherfuckers. It’s reckoning time.