Yesterday, a viral rumor that Armie Hammer, former actor, alleged serial abuser and suspected cannibal, was working as a personal concierge at a resort in the Cayman Islands gave the internet quite the hankering for more details before it was ultimately debunked by Variety.
It all started when a flyer that appeared to have been made by my 65-year-old father on his aging desktop was posted (and since deleted) by Muna Mire, a producer on Showtime’s Desus & Mero, who claimed Hammer was her friend’s parents’ concierge on a recent vacation. Along with a flattering photograph of Hammer—looking every bit the part of a person who would not brand a woman then proceed to lick her blood—the advertisement reads: “I am your personal concierge and am here to help you get the very best from your vacation.” Discount vouchers for excursions like swimming with dolphins and deep sea fishing, along with free raffle tickets (for what exactly, who knows?!) are also promised on the flyer.
Mire also posted a screenshot of a WhatsApp conversation between what appeared to be her friend and her mother, who wrote: “Fun fact: our concierge is The Arnie Hammer.”
Of course, it didn’t take long for Hammer’s lawyer, Andrew Brettler, to confirm to Variety that the flyer is fake. But what’s infinitely more amusing is that a Morritt’s hotel staffer, who spoke to Variety via phone, confirmed that it was made as a good-natured prank between pals. Apparently, Hammer has been living at the hotel and become chummy with some of the staffers—so much so that they even play golf together. It was these staffers that reportedly cooked up the flyer and sent it to a number of rooms to see what might happen. The unnamed employee went on to divulge that in the 12 years he’s worked at the resort, he’s never received so many calls and could “only dream of this sort of publicity.”
As absurd as all of this may seem, it’s summer, meaning lurid gossip about our favorite Hollywood elites is largely feast or famine, and we’re all undoubtedly more starved than usual. Even still, the story wasn’t all that difficult to digest.
Hammer is known to have spent significant time in the Caymans—with his two children, and sometimes, with lingerie-clad women in hotels. He also hasn’t been cast in anything for a while and seems like one of those insipid children of a multimillionaire who “just wants to work like a normal person.” Also, I don’t know about you, but Grand Cayman seems like a solid venue for someone who I suspect is very into The Most Dangerous Game...
- Doja Cat truly asked Stranger Things star, Noah Schnapp, how to slide into his co-star Joseph Quinn’s DMs. Because who better to know than a 17-year-old? [Pop Crave].
- A 2003 photograph of Khloe Kardashian dressed as a pimp resurfaced on Reddit this week. No, it’s not because it includes her first face. The intrigue is more due to the fact that the reality star appears to be holding four of her friends—who, notably, are Black—by leashes. [DailyMail]
- Yet again, Keanu Reeves charms the internet by...simply being a nice person to a young boy in an airport. [Entertainment Tonight]
- Hayden Panettiere graced the cover of People magazine and got candid about her addiction to alcohol and opioids. Personally, I’m rooting for a Panettiere-issance—if that just so happened to include a Diana Jenkins tell-all, so be it! [E! News]
- Speaking of Real Housewives who may or may not have a fondness for white collar crime: Jen Shah, wearing a few thousand dollars worth of Gucci, just appeared in federal court for a final pretrial hearing ahead of her criminal fraud trial. [NY Post]