Sometimes, a Would U topic is not the choice of the Would Writer. Sometimes, a Would U topic is the result of a populist uprising on intra-office messenger Slack, in which the Would Writer’s colleagues come at her like a swarm of barbaric hornbots and demand that she ask our readers if, say, they would fuck Donald Trump if he lived inside Jason Momoa’s body.
Jason Momoa is ripped as hell and has a cool scar on his eyebrow. Donald Trump is a smushed up caterpillar your 6-year-old brother set on fire with a magnifying glass. Would you have sex with Jason Momoa, except inside of him is a pussy-grabbing demagogue and Tic Tac hoarder who has solid plans to destroy the planet? Here is an excerpt of our discussion. It was a very long discussion.
Brendan: Would U: Donald Trump If he Looked Like Jason Momoa
Emma: arleijgsfd
Emma: Omg
Kelly Stout: Wow
Emma: Can we do that?
Kelly Stout: That is truly a hard question.
Emma: Ellie
Emma: @ellie
Ellie: What?
Kelly Stout: ATTN ELLIE
Joanna Rothkopf: @ellie
Brendan: Ellie
Bobby: EMERGENCY!!!!!
Emma: Who’s gonna say yes first?
Joanna: For the first time ever….I was speechless.
Bobby: I mean I could put on earplugs.
Bobby: Yes, I would. I would just pretend it’s Jason Momoa.
Emma: I’d wear noise-canceling headphones like Leo.
Stassa: Jason Momoa is definitely going to sue us.
Kelly Stout: What a way to go though, you know?
This poll is rigged, but what do you think?
Embed was removed for legal reasons Last time on Would U?, we asked: Would you have sex with Great British Bake-Off traitor Paul Hollywood? 33.7% answered: “Hell no I wouldn’t! Fuck you, Paul!” 23.7% said “Maybe, if this arrangement involved getting to meet Mary Berry”; 22% said “Maybe, if this arrangement involved baked goods”; and 20.5% said “Hell yes I would! I, too, like the way he says ‘raw’.”
CORRECTION: This post originally misidentified the device with which your 6-year-old brother sets smushed-up caterpillars on fire as a microscope. It is a magnifying glass.