Would You Have Sex with Boardwalk Empire's Half-Faced Man?

Welcome to Would U?, an academic forum in which Madeleine, temporarily stepping in for Ellie, shares her crush of the week and ask if you, too, would bang that person.

Boardwalk Empire has been off the air since October of 2014 and I haven’t thought about it since. Or at least I hadn’t thought about it until this week when I read that Jack Huston, who played Richard Harrow on the show, had dropped out of the upcoming remake of The Crow and suddenly it felt like 2013 again and I was having all kinds of down there feelings. Not for Huston in general, but for Huston in Boardwalk where he plays a World War I vet who wears a mask because half of his face was blown off during the war. Guh-rowl!

For comparison, here’s what Jack Huston looks like in real life compared to how he looked as Richard Harrow:

Face on the left: Probably WOULD. (Half) face on the right: Definitely WOULD.

“But Madeleine,” you’re probably saying. “Why are you mocking the appearance of this poor fictional character?” Uh, I am not mocking him. I am 100% serious. Ask me “WOULD U” re: Richard Harrow and my answer is a solid, unshakable “WOULD.”

In a poll of the rest of the staff, Kate, Kara and Jia would not bang Richard Harrow. Clover and Kelly would consider banging Richard Harrow. Anna and Jane Marie would bang Richard Harrow if he got rid of his mustache. Natasha, Julianne and I (a.k.a the cool people on staff) would bang Richard Harrow, no questions asked.

So tell us, readers: WOULD U?

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As for the results of “Would You Have Sex with Vince Vaughn?,” 49.52% of you answered “No, that would be really gross,” 24.96% answered “Maybe, if I was going through an emotional rough patch,” 11.97% answered “Yes, but only if there was a Swingers poster above his bed,” 10.47% answered “Yes, I would do anything to have sex with Vince Vaughn,” and 3.08% answered “Yes, but make it a three-way with Rand Paul, will ya?”