Urgent: Would You Have Sex With Vince Vaughn?

Welcome to Would U?, an academic forum in which I share my gross crush of the week and ask if you, too, would bang that person.

Hey, you guys! How is your week going? Would you have sex with Vince Vaughn, the proud owner of (1) delicate nose and one (1) closet full of semi-automatic weapons?

Recently, this highly self-confident mover-and-shaker told British GQ: “In all of our schools it is illegal to have guns on campus, so again and again these guys go and shoot up these fucking schools because they know there are no guns there.” Fair point, pal! He also thinks affirmative action is “racist,” and enjoys many other well-honed points of view, including: “I like the principles of the Constitution and the republic, which is a form of government built around the law.”

Would you get in bed with this prime slab of aging libertarian man meat? Jezebel senior reporter Natasha Vargas-Cooper certainly Would, because “he’s very tall and stupid, WHICH I LIKE.” Jezebel senior editor Jia Tolentino also Would, because she also loves tall, stupid men. Jezebel editor-in-chief Emma Carmichael Would, but only if you send her back to the year 1996, when Vince Vaughn looked like this. At which point Jezebel staff writer Bobby Finger helpfully notes: “The good thing about Vince Vaughn is that he probably has a framed Swingers poster in his bedroom, so you can just look at that.”

So. Would you? WOULD YOU??? It’s not a big deal but I do need to know:

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On last week’s edition of Would U?, we asked: Would you have sex with Botched’s Terry Dubrow? 22% of you answered “Yes yes yes yes yes,” 17% answered “No, Terry Dubrow’s physical appearance doesn’t do it for me,” 16% answered “Yes, but only if I could get a discounted nose job,” 16% answered “I still don’t understand who Terry Dubrow is,” 13% answered “No, Terry Dubrow’s terrible personality doesn’t do it for me,” 11% answered “Yes, but only if he divorced Heather first,” and 6% answered “Yes, but only if Heather joined in.”