Woody Allen, Lover of Young New Things, Regrets His Deal With Amazon

Considering how much Woody Allen loves new things that are only blooming into their potential, it’s a huge surprise that the director is remorseful about signing on to do a deal with Amazon. His six-episode series hasn’t brought him any pleasure and he claims he doesn’t even know what a “streaming service” is.

Allen spoke to Deadline about his career and had this to say about his knowledge of Amazon’s Instant Video service:

I don’t even know what a streaming service is; that’s the interesting thing. When you said streaming service, it was the first time I’ve heard that term connected with the Amazon thing. I never knew what Amazon was. I’ve never seen any of those series, even on cable. I’ve never seen The Sopranos, or Mad Men. I’m out every night and when I come home, I watch the end of the baseball or basketball game, and there’s Charlie Rose and I go to sleep.

God, isn’t that just adorable? Allen is like every cool person you knew in high school who was an artist and didn’t watch TV because they didn’t want to be influenced by popular media and advertising, man, and they were just to busy out there living life to watch Brothers and Sisters and Army Wives even though they totally know the names of those shows because their parents watch them, but never they. No, they were making art that really mattered, like taking photos of people slumped over on the bus and making collages out of skin they’d picked off their own feet and wearing pillow cases as dresses.

And, just like every cool person from high school who sold out, Allen regrets that he ever signed on to do this new Amazon thing, even though they were paying him bucket loads of money:

DEADLINE: So you said yes…

ALLEN: And I have regretted every second since I said OK. It’s been so hard for me. I had the cocky confidence, well, I’ll do it like I do a movie…it’ll be a movie in six parts. Turns out, it’s not. For me, it has been very, very difficult. I’ve been struggling and struggling and struggling. I only hope that when I finally do it — I have until the end of 2016 — they’re not crushed with disappointment because they’re nice people and I don’t want to disappoint them. I am doing my best. I fit it in between films, so it’s not like, no film this year, I’m doing Amazon. It’s a job within my usual schedule. But I am not as good at it as I fantasized I might be. It’s not a piece of cake; it’s a tough thing and I’m earning every penny that they’re giving me and I just hope that they don’t feel, ‘My God, we gave him a very substantial amount of money and freedom and this is what he gives us?’

DEADLINE: You really regret that deal?

ALLEN: Oh, it’s amazing how you can regret. I haven’t had a pleasurable moment since I undertook it.