Woman Uses Potato as Contraceptive, Grows Roots Inside Her Vagina

Remember that horrible urban legend about spiders hatching in someone’s face? What about the story of a woman who masturbated with a lobster and was impregnated by it? Those were fake. This story about a woman who grew a potato in her vagina is the real deal.

This strange tale begins with a stomach ache and an ill-fated attempt at contraception. The 22-year-old woman who suffered the horrors of a vagina full of roots went to the hospital when she began feeling abdominal pain. While there, she revealed to the doctors that she had used a potato as a contraceptive, a method that her mother told her would work. Okay. How does that work exactly? Well, according to Colombia Reports, the young woman just placed the potato inside herself and let it chill there for about two weeks. At that point the potato grew roots and suddenly the woman is some kind of incubator for an alien potato baby.

This is horrifying (although the woman is fine; the potato and roots were removed without surgery), but what’s really scary is the lack of knowledge about contraception (this woman was 22) and the fact that traditional forms of birth control and STD prevention appear to be rejected by Colombia’s youth.

From Colombia Reports:

A recent campaign by Bienestar Familiar (ICBF) aimed at reducing the high levels of teenage pregnancy in Colombia stated that young people’s general rejection of conventional contraception methods, such as condoms and contraceptive pills, coupled with a macho society which often saw girls pressured into having unsafe sex, contributed to a high level of unwanted teenage pregnancies.

The fact that a 22 year old women was no naïve as to believe that a potato was an appropriate and safe method of contraception shows a concerning lack of education for young people as to the options available for them when they become sexually active.

I thought nothing could be scarier than a human growing a potato, but I’m going to go ahead and say that lack of access to contraceptive knowledge and methods is one thousand times worse. Hopefully this story will bring more awareness to the fact that better methods are available.