Who Should Play The Sexy Russian Spy In The Inevitable Movie?

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Sexy Russian spy Anna Chapman has considered her options post-spy-swap, and (surprise!) a fat book/media deal looks like the most attractive one. So who should play her in the inevitable film?

According to the Post, Chapman is (just as we predicted!) “secretly shopping for a $250,000 media deal.” A source says she wants to sell a book based on her story, and option the film rights. There is one little problem — she promised not to profit from her experiences as part of her plea bargain. But Chapman’s in Russia now, and we all know US laws don’t mean shit in other countries, so she’s hoping that $250k can be funneled right into a Swiss bank account. Once it is, it’ll be time to write the book and, of course, cast the movie. We suggested Ashley Dupre for the Chapman role, but if our sultry spy prefers someone with more acting experience, here are a few choices:

Carey Mulligan
Upside: Red hair, would look adorable in Anna Chapman’s tiara.
Downside: Potentially too cute to portray a femme fatale. Then again, this is the perfect time for her to expand her range.

Angelina Jolie
Upside: Already kinda plays Anna Chapman in the upcoming Salt (in fact, one commenter thinks the whole Russian spy thing is just marketing for that movie).
Downside: Not a good looks-match. Also, does Angelina Jolie have to play fucking everyone?

Amy Adams
Upside: Has the hair and coy smile down. Also, would be a great way for Adams to play against type and make people forget about Leap Year.
Downside: Can you imagine Amy Adams doing a Russian accent?

Jewel Staite
Upside: As a commenter pointed out, the actress who played Kaylee Frye on TV’s Firefly bears an uncanny resemblance to Chapman. And it seems like Staite’s career could use a boost.
Downside: Everyone knows Kaylee was the most annoying character on Firefly.

James McAvoy
Upside: If Angelina Jolie can play a role written for Tom Cruise, why can’t we gender-bend La Chapman’s story? Plus, McAvoy has already played a sexy Russian.
Downside: Unlike Carey Mulligan, would probably look pretty stupid in that tiara.

Image via New York Post.

Russian Spy Anna Chapman Wants $250K To Tell Her Story [New York Post]

Earlier: What’s Next For The Sexy Russian Spy?
Russian Spy Anna Chapman Rules Bizarre Facebook Posse

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