What Kind of Birds Are the Kardashians?

What type of birds are Kim, Kanye, and krew?

In a new interview for CR Fashion Book, Kim Kardashian-West successfully bypasses any conversation that could highlight her general obliviousness regarding contemporary culture, and instead jumps right into ornithophilia. (That’s bird love.) After revealing, “I think people don’t really see me as dressing so modest, my soul inside is kind of modest. My closest friends know that about me,” KKW tells the publication that she, more or less, believes in reincarnation, and that her family consists of a bunch of birds:

“I’m big on prayer and superstition together. I believe there are signs from the spirit world all around us. When my dad [Robert Kardashian] was sick with cancer, we were laying out by his pool and I said, ‘If you die, you have to come back in the form of a bird.’ We were driving on the freeway right before his funeral and this huge flock of birds flew over the 101. Everyone stopped because it was so crazy looking. I was like, ‘There you are.’”

She then extends this belief to Kanye and his late mother Donda West:

“Kanye and I always reference birds. We seem to see a lot of black crows. Yesterday Kanye took a picture of the two black crows that are always at our house and always together. We always say that they are our parents hanging out together at our house.”

Birds certainly symbolize freedom and flying and whatever, but black, goth-y, necrophilic crows? I did a little bit of research and learned that under certain superstition (and these California Psychics) crows represent clairvoyance, wisdom and a relationship between this world and a spiritual one. That’s nice for Donda West and Robert Kardashian, but the Kardashian-Wests themselves are definitely not black crows. Not at all. But what species would they be?

Kim Kardashian-West

As soon as I saw this glamorous and confused seagull, I thought, Yes, it Kim. Note its beautiful curves, its inability to empathize with life on land, and its desire to be close to the water (where is Calabasas, anyway?)

Kanye West

This is a wet pigeon. Nobody likes a wet pigeon. Maga.

North West

There is no bird more stylish than the flamingo, and no Kardashian-West more effortlessly cool than North.

Saint & Chicago West

The sweet little ones of the Kardashian-West clan are so small and young and cute and we don’t totally know their personalities yet. Until we do, I think they’re cygnets—that’s swan babies to you.