On Wednesday, while promoting her SKIMS shapewear brand for an Instagram ad, Kim Kardashian West posed in front of her fridge. That’s nothing out of the ordinary, except for this detail: the appliance was mostly barren, save for at least six different cartons of milk, a mostly empty lemonade pitcher, and two additional, half-drunk bottles of milk. (Milk, as you may have noticed in every violent film of the last few decades, is the elixir of choice for serial killers.) Her followers freaked, not because of the murderous symbology but because she has four children, so surely she must keep some food in the house? Even though he house is a minimalist, Apple Store-like prison?
In response, Kim posted a “fridge and pantry” tour on her Instagram story and I regret to inform you that it is time to eat the rich. Watch it:
Not only does her walk-in fridge look distinctly like a Sam’s Club or Costco or the warehouse club chain of your preference, but the surface area is massive. She has a froyo machine that is perpetually on and plugged in, which seems like a wild waste of energy. She has more organic fruits and veggies than a Whole Foods. It’s absolute madness, and I want in.
The only problem with that, of course, is that I have no idea where this fridge/pantry is located. It did not appear in her 73 Questions segment with Vogue, where the world first caught a glimpse of her horrible home. Is it underground? Are there basements in the ritzy neighborhoods in Los Angeles? Is there some sort of retinal scanning device that unlocks her fridge/pantry set up? Does a wall flip around and reveal the goods? In one frame on her Instagram Story, it looks like she’s walking from her breakfast table to the kitchen... but where did all the food go?
Please, if you have any answers, my email is below.