We Very Desperately Want This Story About Jennifer Garner Starring in a Melania Trump Biopic to Be Real

The lesser tabloid Life & Style is claiming that Jennifer Garner, Sofía Vergara, and Elizabeth Hurley are in talks to star in a Melania Trump biopic (“Coming Soon! Melania The Movie”)—and while the story is almost definitely fake, I very desperately want it to be real.

The magazine claims that the biopic will tell the “rags-to-riches life story” of the model turned first lady, starting with a “young Melania” and staying with her as she meets her future husband Donald Trump and they begin their racist journey together. “It’s one of the juiciest characters being cast right now,” claims Life & Style’s “insider.”

But Garner is not attached to the project, according to a “source close to Garner” who spoke to Gossip Cop, which also went on to note that Life & Style once falsely reported that Leonardo DiCaprio was starring in a Bruce Springsteen biopic.

Still, I personally believe that the Lifetime network absolutely needs to make this movie and it absolutely needs to star Fake Melania.