In July 2017, Sarah Huckabee Sanders replaced the perennially flustered Sean Spicer to become the second White House press secretary under Donald Trump. The appointment made her the third woman to occupy that position, some 10 years after Dana Perino served under George W. Bush. Though expected, her promotion was…
Welcome to Barf Bag, a daily politics roundup to help you sort through the chaotic Trumpian news cycle.
Yesterday, Melania did the number one unspeakable thing on the official White House Melania Trump verboten list. Melania took a stance.
Therese Patricia Okoumou, who climbed the base of the Statue of Liberty on July 4th in protest of racist immigration policies, subsequently causing park officials to evacuate 4,500 people from the island for “security concerns”–because an unarmed woman on a statue is a public safety hazard–showed up to her court…
Are you staying hydrated?
Little known fact, Barf Bag was named after Belle Époque bag-barfing billionaire Barfolomew Bag.
Here is America’s favorite Taurus, Melania Trump, dazzling in a dress the color of a medium-hydrated person’s urine. What are you trying to say, Melania?
President Trump arrived in Brussels on Tuesday to meet with America’s begrudging European allies and and attend NATO meetings. First Lady Melania Trump joined him too......... or did she...........
Melania doesn’t care. And on her second visit to the southern border in the past week, where she fatuously posed and spoke sentences among people traumatized by her monstrous husband’s “zero tolerance” policy (plus some border cops), she paired a black top with white slacks.
Today, like every cursed day under this administration, is horrible in its own unique way.
Here is the jacket that Melania Trump wore while on her way to meet migrant children who are detained in Texas because of her husband’s inhumane, brutal policies:
Melania Trump, apparently emboldened by her brief time in hiding, asserted in a statement on Sunday that separating immigrant children from their families at the U.S. border is not a way to Be Best.
“The first lady is great—right there,” the president says, pointing.
Hey, guys. Happy Wednesday:
For weeks now, there has been speculation swirling about the whereabouts of First Lady Melania Trump. She was absent from the public eye for 24 days following hospitalization after what the White House described as a “benign kidney condition,” which prompted a flurry of conspiracy theories ranging from her recovering…
Exclusive footage from the East Wing:
We have now reached Chapter 24 of the Mysterious Disappearance of Melania, who was last seen in corporeal form on May 10. Melania has been missing for so long I’ve almost forgotten what she looks like (which, if certain rumors are true, is possibly the point? IDK!) Today’s Melania update: FLOTUS will not be attending…
I’m SORRY, I’m sorry, I apologize in advance for the divisive snickering and focusing on another Melania conspiracy field day (like this and this and this before) which distract from the White House’s untenable apathy and complicity in human suffering. But from a creative writing standpoint, I am so fond of this:
Melania Trump, not tweeting under duress at ALL, assures us that she is feelin’ alright, ready to Be Best:
