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Watch This Wiener Dog Escape His People and Run Forever and Ever and Ever

This is pure exhilaration. This is pure life. This, if Taylor Swift were writing about it, would just have the words “squad goals” written over and over again with a few emoji and hashtags thrown in. This dog is living your best life and you didn’t even know it.

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According to USA Today, this adorable puppy took flight during an event in which the El Paso Chihuahuas staged a race to find out once and for all who was “the fastest wiener in El Paso.” I don’t know if this dog was the winner, but there’s no way some other puppy was going to win that prize, right? He may have broken the rules, but he’s living his life right.

Contact the author at mark.shrayber@jezebel.com.

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DISCUSSION

I used to show horses and often brought my corgi dog to the show grounds. Usually he was in stall with a bunch of the other barn dogs. But one time I was there to spectate/cheer on a barn mate so I brought him ringside. This woman was a new rider and very timid, so our trainer wanted us to show support, enthusiastically. Any way, in order to have both hands free to applaud I tied the leash to my belt loop. As she’s riding her course Derby settles into a nap. After a decent showing, she rides the customary “hunter’s circle” ( a last parade by the judges). She finishes, we all hoot and holler. Derby wakes from his slumber and takes off, ripping my belt loop and pulling me off my feet. He makes a frantic beeline into the ring, spooks the horse and head for the water jumps. He’s rolling in a mud puddle, she’s crying hysterically (fortunately she kept her seat) and I’m wishing for the proverbial hole to swallow me. Anyway, it cost me her entrance fees, a steep fine, a temporary ban on me, a permanent ban on Derby and the general (well deserved) disgust of every other spectator. Also, we wound up in the paper. Dogs are assholes. But they take after their “mommies”.