Watch the Best Ryan Lochte Interview Ever, Hands Down

This morning Olympic gold medalist and famed sex idiot Ryan Lochte was working a press junket this morning—to promote his new reality show What Would Ryan Lochte Do?—when he made a Philadelphia morning talk show host, who had just interviewed him via satellite, laugh so hard at his stupidity that she cried and snorted.


After a five-minute interview in which Lochte got stumped on questions about dating (causing a few seconds of dead air) and the bathroom boundaries of reality TV cameras, and shared his deep thoughts ("I'm a man at night and I'm a man in the morning") his feed was shut off, at which point Mike Jerrick and Sheinelle Jones of Fox29's Good Day Philadelphia cracked the fuck up. Sheinelle repeatedly snorted and almost cried her fake lashes off while Mike remarked on just how dumb Lochte was. It's the least professional and most honest response interviewers have ever had after speaking with Lochte.



My big question is...why did Lochte (who I am now convinced is either a golden retriever under a curse to appear human, OR GW Bush's secret love child with a mermaid) seriously go on to describe what's in a bathroom to the hosts?! Lochte, you know I try to defend people from being all "hur hur shut up and look pretty" but you're making it hard bro!