Watch a 'Big Brother' Contestant Try to Masturbate on the Sly

It's really hard to get away with anything on Big Brother thanks to the "live feeds" component of the show, which gives subscribers 24/7 access to the cameras in the habitat. Still, people are human, and to go 100 days without masturbating, it must be really, really hard (that's what she said).


So it was kind of a comedic moment this week when House Guest Spencer tried to jerk it under the covers in the dark while pretending to go to sleep. The only problem was that the mechanized camera mount—that allows producers to remotely scan the room—was so loud when switching its aim, that he realized he'd been caught in the act. He still wasn't deterred, and continued with his business before the producers made the call to cut away to another room. (They weren't so kind when a contestant rubbed one out in the shower three years ago.)



I have watched this show for entirely too long. Why, you might ask? Because my reaction to this was to think, "why didn't he go outside and use the jack shack?" Yes, my uninitiated Jezzies ... the jack shack. Many, many seasons ago, one male contestant discovered that he could empty all the pool supplies out of the big container in the backyard (barely bigger than a coffin) and get himself a bit of privacy from the cameras, and he dubbed it the jack shack. In seasons afterwards, other male contestants availed themselves of the accommodations. God help me, there are videos on YouTube but I can't bring myself to link to one.

This season has disgusted me so thoroughly I have barely watched, so I don't know if there's still a container back there, but there you go. And why I can't have a delete button for my brain to get rid of useless garbage like that I just don't know ...