Think about the worst gift you have ever gotten from an acquaintance to congratulate you on something good happening in your life. Whatever it is, I promise that it’s not worse than Gwyneth Paltrow’s team of human goops sending Travis Barker a custom, $75 “This Smells Like Kourtney’s Orgasm” candle. This is a real thing that actually happened in real life to real people.
The candle, People reports, is not specifically tailored to whatever it is that Kourtney smells like when she orgasms (probably self-tanner and fruit-scented lube with a hint of Jergens). Instead, the label was customized for Barker as part of Goop’s promotion of their “This Smells Like My Orgasm” candle, a follow-up scent to “This Smells Like My Vagina.” A candle that has its own sequel and if I may, my suggestion for a trilogy would be “This Smells Like My Taint,” because why not try to create something a little more challenging, Goop? [People]
Tristan Thompson’s legal beef with a woman he claims he never slept with has reached an all-time level of absurdity. The woman, Sydney Chase, claimed she’d had a consensual sexual affair with Thompson while he was still working things out with his baby mama, Khloé Kardashian. Last week, Thompson filed a cease and desist against Chase, arguing that her claims that they had a relationship and that he has a “peek-a-boo dick” were defamatory and the affair never happened.
Instead of just posting the receipts of this relationship online like any normal scorned person would do, Chase has hired Gloria Allred to represent her and “conduct a full investigation which she believes will substantiate the relationship between her and Tristan Thompson.” Chase said she will also not be complying with the cease and desist order. Personally, I cannot wait until this non-issue makes its way to a Law and Order episode. [Page Six]
- Lamar Odom, a man who is over six feet tall, is training for a boxing match with Aaron Carter, a man who has the build of an uncooked noodle. Okay. [TMZ]
- Colin Kaepernick is putting his money where his paperback is and publishing a book of essays titled, Abolition for the People: The Movement for a Future Without Policing & Prisons. The book will be available in October of this year. [TMZ]
- Porsha Williams claims she was never really friends with Falynn Guobadia so getting engaged to her ex-husband is no big deal! [TMZ]
- Kristen Stewart’s latest film, Spencer, which follows the life of Princess Diana has just cast actress Amy Manson in the role of Anne Boleyn. This movie is going to be bonkers. [Tatler]