For months now I’ve been puzzling over the possible significance of Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker being plastered all over each other in nearly every photo I’ve seen of them together. Kourtney and Travis making out on a couch? Travis sucking Kourtney’s finger in public? Travis cupping Kourtney’s bare ass in a desert? What could it possibly mean???
Thank god, a body language expert is here to help.
“This photo of Kourtney and Travis is hot, hot, hot!” expert Blanca Cobb told Cosmopolitan last week (referring to the aforementioned desert photo):
“Kourtney and Travis are connected from their lips to their hips. With so much of their skin touching, their bodies have to be exploding with oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin, hormones that make them feel more blissfully connected. And they’re all about a physical connection with Kourtney’s lips locked onto his and her bum snuggled into his hands. Let’s put it this way: The heat is on!”
Confirmed: This couple is horny. Who would’ve known!
These are photos of Lady Gaga greeting fans outside her hotel in Rome, having finished shooting House of Gucci. But in a truer sense, these are photos of me re-entering society, fully vaccinated:
- Harry and William have “insisted” on giving separate speeches at a ceremony for the unveiling of a statue of their mother, which is apparently further evidence of their ongoing feud even though I think that sounds normal. [Page Six]
- Vanessa Hudgens recounted how she made the first move in her relationship with baseball bf Cole Tucker: “If I want something or someone, I’m going after them,” I fully just slid into his DMs and was like, ‘Hey, it was nice to meet you.’” Brave! [People]
- The 2021 AP US Government and Politics exam featured a question about Taylor Swift’s 2018 political awakening. Good for her. [People]
DISCUSSION
Middle aged mom and dad horny teenager cosplay is the saddest PR of all.