Tiny English Village Terrorized By Loud Noises Coming from Sex Party

Imagine you live in a picturesque village in the UK. Imagine that village is called Flaxley and is located in the Forest of Dean which sounds lovely, sight unseen. Now imagine that it’s a Thursday afternoon and your eardrums are assaulted by music coming not from the friendly fairies of the forest (well…) but from a sex festival. What do you do?

The BBC reports that Flaxley residents were absolutely flabbergasted when their weekday was cut into by the loud noises emanating from Swingfields, a lifestyle festival for consenting and discerning adults dedicated to the finer things in life, like swapping sexual partners and intimidating villagers with scary security guards. One witness even told reporters that local authorities couldn’t get the partygoers to keep it down (pun proudly intended).

From the BBC:

One resident, who wished to remain anonymous, said he and his neighbours complained about the noise but festival organisers refused to lower the volume.

The villager said: “Suddenly on Thursday afternoon it started and ran until the early hours of Sunday. It was very, very loud.

“We asked them to turn it down and they refused. People all around the valley heard it and complained”

All around the valley. I have personally never been to Flaxley, but it looks lovely and picturesque and historical. There’s an ancient abbey and everything. And now there’s also a sex festival loudly blasting the sounds of Sarah McLachlan and Barry Manilow (I imagine).

The music, which lasted until early Sunday, is said to have kept some residents awake nights and disrupted the entire village and surrounding areas. While festival organizers have not responded to complaints, it appears that this year’s festival was the biggest yet, with over 500 swingers descending upon Flaxley (up from 250 in 2013 when the event started) for discrete photos and sensual pampering—including manicures and pedicures for a separate fee.