This Little Beauty Queen Insists She's "Smiling On The Inside"

On last night's episode of Toddlers & Tiaras, we got to meet Karmen, a miserable six-year-old girl. Also, a pageant boy was profiled. More after the jump.



Last night's episode featured the Winter Wonderland pageant — which was "glitz", but did not have cash prizes — and followed Karmen, 6, the "smiling" girl from the clip above:

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Payton, 6, the first boy the show has ever profiled.

Illustration for article titled This Little Beauty Queen Insists She's "Smiling On The Inside"

Destiny, 5, who seemed to have been experiencing a cold sore.

Illustration for article titled This Little Beauty Queen Insists She's "Smiling On The Inside"

And Destiny's little sister Daylee, 2.

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So, what's up with Daylee?

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Daylee and Destiny's mom admits to being a stage mother. She's really into the glitz aspect of the pageants, which, for her, means Kim Mathers-esque lipstick application.

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Illustration for article titled This Little Beauty Queen Insists She's "Smiling On The Inside"
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Of her pageant look, Destiny says, verbatim: "I think I look different at the pageants because I look prettier than I do at [sic] now."

D&D's mom is also not above putting wigs on her two-year-old daughter, which she arranges on this terrifying "Daylee" head.

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Illustration for article titled This Little Beauty Queen Insists She's "Smiling On The Inside"
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As for six-year-old Payton, Winter Wonderland will be his last hurrah. His father thinks it's time for him to "retire," saying, "Hopefully he's gonna move on to four-wheeler racing."

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Of his son's "king" tiaras, the dad says, "Some of the girl crowns look kinda funny, but he's really all boy about it."

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But I have a feeling that Payton's forced "retirement" is actually an attempt to inhibit the kid from growing up and being "all boy" about other things, like dating. Also, I think their aim is to discourage remarks like this, post-puberty.

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It seems that his mother desperately wanted a daughter. Exhibit A:

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But she insists that "Payton is living proof that a boy can do anything in pageants than a girl can do." Yeah, it's about time someone put a crack in that Swarovski ceiling.

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Essentially, the lesson here is that repression is not for dreams, just sexual orientation.

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I have to say it, only because it's punny because it's true: Karmen is a bitch.

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But anyone who was tortured would be that way.

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Her lack of enthusiasm for pageants and all other competitive activities was demonstrated by the fact that she would rather play tic tac toe alone.

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I love that her rebellious nature was perceived by the other children as insanity.

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Karmen's mom defended her own mental state when she said, "I don't think I'm over-the-top-crazy mom." I beg to differ.

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Betty was the pageant emcee. She was a total curmudgeon. She never smiled once during the whole episode, she was pissed off when children were late for lineup, and she had the audacity to say, "Everyone remember: glitter belongs on your dress, not on your hair or your skin." What is she doing in this industry!?

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Totally unrelated, I kind of loved the arm-pump reaction this little girl had when she mistakenly thought she won "Most Beautiful."

Guess what.

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In other Daylee news that's not fit to print:

DISCUSSION

[whispers]"you're crazy"

"what?"

"you're crazy"

[sad]"no."

That was kind of heartbreaking. The girl seems to not see quitting as an option.