They Were Bound to Get It Right Eventually

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In my roughly 18 months covering celebrity gossip for Jezebel, I have seen so many tabloid covers screaming about the rumored divorce of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt that news of their actual divorce hit me not like a ton of bricks, but like a gentle dusting of old, scraped off grout from in between a ton of bricks.

The press has been telling the formerly tall tale of Brangie’s collapse for almost as long as their 12-year romance (they fell in love in 2004 on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith) has been public.

Sometimes they blamed Brad’s sexy younger costars for the split. Other times they blamed his obsession with Jennifer Aniston, his ex-wife. Occasionally it was Angie’s wild temper, and eventually it was the mystery illness that was too much for Brad to handle. The point is, the tabloids called it. They called it over and over and over and over and over again, for almost 10 years.

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Just look at all these covers and tell me today’s news is surprising.


October, 2007

September, 2008

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October, 2008

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November, 2008

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The Year 2009

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February, 2010

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November, 2010

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April, 2011

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September, 2011

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January, 2012

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December, 2014

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February 29, 2015

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May 11, 2015

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July 6, 2015

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September 14, 2015

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November 2, 2015

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March 21, 2016

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April 18, 2016

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April 25, 2016

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May 16, 2016

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June 6, 2016

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July 20, 2016

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September 26, 2016

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Staff Writer, Jezebel | Man

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DISCUSSION

I have seen so many tabloid covers screaming about the rumored divorce of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt that news of their actual divorce hit me not like a ton of bricks, but like a gentle dusting of old, scraped off grout from in between a ton of bricks.

Bobby. You are already so good I don’t know how you can keep getting better, but you do.