Do you smell that? It smells like…meat and wrappers and special sauce. It could be the Carl’s Jr. burger in this Kate Upton commercial that made broadcasters nationwide clutch their grandmother’s pearls in disgust, or maybe it’s just the smell of the horndogs jerking off to it.
Either way, you know what that means: It’s almost time for the Super Bowl, which has somehow managed to brand itself as both the family-friendly sporting event of the year and—given its audience, which some very rigorous studies show is 99.99% bros — a sex-apalooza for beer brands and their ad agencies.
Lucky for you, the Super Bowl also happens to fall on Jezebel’s Horny Week, so not only do we have the distinct pleasure of bashing the sporting world’s most fucked up and racist league, but we also get to celebrate some of the Super Bowl’s most historically horny moments…for better or for Horny Jail. From sexpot commercials banned from the airwaves to nudity and the nip seen ‘round the world, it’s horny football time.