The Spice Girls Are Back, But I'm Saving My Exclamation Points

By Whitney Kimball | February 4, 2018 | 9:31pm

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When Victoria Beckham, Punxsutawney Phil of Spice Girl reunions, poked her head out in this group photo with all of the Spice Girls and their manager Simon Fuller, there was finally reason to get our hopes up. And now, after what seemed like Ginger’s endless clandestine meetings dating back to 2003, the great letdown of 2007, the one-time 2012 Olympic performance, 3/5 reunions, rumored tryouts for other Spices, this rubbish from Posh, it is confirmed. The entire Spice Girls have announced their return in a statement to Variety:

The time now feels right to explore some incredible new opportunities together. ….We all agree that there are many exciting possibilities that will once again embrace the original essence of The Spice Girls, while reinforcing our message of female empowerment for future generations.

Yes, the time is now. Scary Spice’s divorce is over, Posh’s clothing line is suffering, and we’ve exhausted 1980’s fashion nostalgia. But also women are tired of being treated like shit, and horn-shaped double buns are visually rich for protest potential, and PVC catsuits ARE evergreen (Posh). We look forward finding new role models in the Spice Women.