The Speaker's Race Is a Shit Show, But It's Produced Some Tremendous Content

The Speaker's Race Is a Shit Show, But It's Produced Some Tremendous Content

Rep. Kevin McCarthy has lost nine votes so far, but he has inspired some winning tweets.

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Screenshot: @acyn on Twitter/C-SPAN

Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) has thoroughly humiliated himself this week in his quest to become the speaker of the House. He presumptuously moved all of his belongings into the speaker’s office on Tuesday before voting started, threatened to strip members of their committee positions if they don’t vote for him, mistakenly thought Democrats would help him win, lost votes as his efforts continued instead of gaining them, and then made a bunch of big concessions to try win over his far-right critics that resulted in no changes at all.

Meanwhile, House Republicans have been generally melting down, calling each other names on national television, and desperately trying to avoid being seen talking to pathological liar Rep.-elect George Santos—who, himself, is desperately trying to avoid the press. It’s all a big mess, and it’s pretty sad for our country. But at the very least, it’s resulted in some amazing content.

Here are the best tweets from Speakerbowl 2023, for those not chronically online:

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2 / 19

Empty throne

Empty throne

This captures the vibe of the entire week: Republicans are a rudderless ship as they try to take control of the House, and literally nothing can happen—not even their own swearings in—until they figure their shit out. Incredible.

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3 / 19

Cut to Kevin

Cut to Kevin

His behavior is the actual definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. He just keeps metaphorically punching himself in the face.

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4 / 19

Aging baby

Aging baby

Meanwhile, the Democrats are just sitting back, literally eating popcorn, and trolling the hell out of their colleagues across the aisle.

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5 / 19

Aging babies, plural

Aging babies, plural

Now the father of said baby, Rep. Jimmy Gomez (D-Calif.), is getting in on the fun. We love a working dad!

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6 / 19

“It’s been 84 years...”

“It’s been 84 years...”

Rep.-elect Mary Peltola (D-Alaska) is a first-term member of Congress and already a delight on Twitter, though she can’t be sworn in until Republicans figure out who they want to be Speaker.

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7 / 19

I do declare!

I do declare!

Just try reading the quoted tweet from Louisiana Republican Clay Higgins in the voice of Knives Out’s Benoit Blanc without laughing.

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8 / 19

We need audio

We need audio

Jezebel’s own Caitlin Cruz, everyone.

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9 / 19

George Santos fanfic

George Santos fanfic

Oh come on, this does sound like something he’d say.

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10 / 19

Groundhog Day

Groundhog Day

Bill Murray did it first.

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11 / 19

McCarthy won’t move his shit out of this office that isn’t yet his

McCarthy won’t move his shit out of this office that isn’t yet his

Big “worst person you know” energy.

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12 / 19

Gratuitous Trump dunk

Gratuitous Trump dunk

A perfect tweet.

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13 / 19

I’ll have what he’s having

I’ll have what he’s having

Yes, Rep. Nancy Mace (R-S.C.) is a Republican, and she is none too pleased with her fratty sex pest colleague going rogue this week and voting for Donald Trump for speaker.

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14 / 19

Relatable king

Relatable king

This is the only funny thing he’s done, besides accidentally (?) send out a press release saying he was sworn in when he wasn’t.

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15 / 19

Actually, there should be booze

Actually, there should be booze

We welcome our new blue overlord.

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16 / 19

Cringe

Cringe

This whole process is embarrassing, when you think about it.

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17 / 19

Educational

Educational

Sesame Street could use this saga as a hook to teach kids to count.

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18 / 19

Thank you for your service, everyone

Thank you for your service, everyone

We couldn’t agree more.

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19 / 19