The Real Housewives Of New Jersey Reunion, Part 1: 'The Teresa Giudice Show'

Come one, come all to the Teresa Giudice Show! RHONJ‘s most delusional housewife was on the offensive during last night’s reunion, pitting the rest of the cast — including two of her actual family members — against the Fabulicious author. As you’ve come to expect, the entire special was an hour-long cat fight, but this season’s seemed especially sad: it is now clear that reality TV has gone to Teresa’s head, and worse, ruined her relationship with her family. With Jacqueline missing, it was almost like family therapy between the Gorga-Giudice clan, with Caroline Manzo throwing in her two cents and Andy Cohen cocking his head to the side in dismay every few minutes. In other words, it was good.

Above is a collection of the bitchiest moments, but here are take-home points: Teresa was pissed that Bravo invited her family members onto the show without her knowledge, Teresa truly thought the jokes about her cast mates were funny, and Teresea still doesn’t know what’s going on with her finances, even though there’s a chance her husband might be sent to jail for up to ten years. Also, we discovered that Teresa is incredibly insecure about her tiny forehead. I think Caroline Manzo put it best when she said, “I feel like I’m getting dumber as the minutes go on …I am in a whirlwind of stupid.”

One thing the reunion was missing was the presence of cast member Jacqueline Laurita. You see, the clever Bravo execs decided to capitalize on the tension between the RHONJ castmembers and moved up the production of season four so that it was filmed right after season three. Apparently, some crazy shit (hopefully, more table-flipping) went down between Jacqueline and Teresa the night before the season three reunion was filmed, and Jaqueline refused to show up to the filming. During the broadcast, she tweeted, “I couldn’t emotionally or physically be there. I wish I could explain more but I can’t contractually. After 4th I’ll explain more.” I guess we’ll just have to tune in to find out — damn you, Bravo!