CRIME IS GOOD.
Image: Getty

During a lavish press conference at the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Temple of Dendur, Cate Blanchett reportedly told the assembled group of press and other looky-loos that the point of Ocean’s 8 was “Encouraging children to crime.”

Her answer was in response to a reporter who asked if the movie’s intent was really to inspire young girls everywhere to do crimes—just the start of what I imagine will be an exhausting press cycle that repeatedly presses the issue of a movie about women doing crimes like men, but in heels and fancy dresses instead of leather boots and mid-life crisis blazers.

Perhaps in an attempt to counteract this narrative, Blanchett’s costars weighed in. Mindy Kaling said that we should be happy that the women are “orchestrating a crime, rather than fighting over a man.” Anne Hathaway said “To an eight-year-old girl, maybe we’re not trying to say, ‘Go have a life of crime. But we’re saying, ‘Go do what you want, there’s space for you.’”

Did you hear that, America? Are you listening to Fantine? She said that there’s space for you, all the little baby criminalettes who rest their head at night dreaming of a sack full of jewels and leather jackets and skull caps. Feminism means you don’t have to be a princess—you can rob a bank, steal a diamond, become a senator and win an Oscar! You make the money! You win the bread. You are the future. Ocean’s Eight has paved the way!!