'The Night is Dark and Full of Terrors' in Potomac

The 90-minute finale of season 5 of The Real Housewives of Potomac served fractured friendships, “plots” that never panned out, and bookended Monique Samuels’s announcement that she has left the show.

One of the night’s biggest revelations surrounded castmates Candiace Dillard Bassett, Gizelle Bryant, and two-year-old rumors that circulated off-camera regarding an alleged affair between Samuels and her trainer that questioned the paternity of Samuels’s last child.

So how exactly did we end up on this dark, twisted road of secret plans, affairs, and paternity that did very little to explain why Monique dragged Candiace? Let’s debrief:

Monique Samuels and the Two-Year-Old Plot That Thinned

It’s hard to decipher the details of the rumors but what the reunion does confirm is that the paternity “plot”—more accurately described as a conversation about rumors— occurred in 2019 at a private dinner following Andy Cohen’s baby shower. After that dinner, the alleged rumor wasn’t mentioned on-camera until Monique’s husband Chris alluded to them during a conversation with Gizelle, who he still accuses of being the primary plotter.

The source of the Samuels’s anger gets even more murky after Bravo rolled unaired footage of the conversation, proving the paternity of the Samuels’s child was never part of the show or integral to anyone’s storyline. It’s OK if you’re still confused, maybe someone should have cracked open the dictionary and explained the difference between a “plot” and a “rumor” and this would have made a lot more sense. Like Karen Huger says “words are weapons,” but we’ll get deeper into that in a second.

Candiace Dillard Bassett Gets an Apology and a Commemorative Song

With the rumors put to bed, the women tried very hard to find some closure to the altercation between Monique and Candiace. It’s been a year since the confrontation took place and Andy seemed very concerned that Monique has shown little remorse for her role in the physical fight. For the record, I haven’t seen Cohen press a housewife this hard since he grilled LeeAnne Locken on The Real Housewives of Dallas during the Season 4 reunion over her use of the word “Mexican.”

The discussion ends with Monique offering what seems like a genuine apology to Candiace, which immediately turns sour when Monique explains she’s chosen to move forward by releasing the song “Drag Queens” instead of following her therapist’s advice and writing Candiace a letter. Music is Monique’s preferred method of stress relief, naturally.

Karen Huger Is Very Afraid of Words

To add insult to injury, Candiace revealed that she sent Karen Huger a private text that Karen took to Bravo in an attempt to get her fired. Huger says she felt “threatened” by the message that told her to “burn and go to eternal hell” because “words are weapons.” Though Karen swears she only went to Bravo to help Candiace because their contracts have some type of language surrounding “psychological” support. It’s the type of spin only the grande dame could pull off.

It’s clear that Candiace has become collateral damage in wars between Gizelle and Monique and Karen and the green-eyed bandits. Is her only source of support the tiny tissue she continues to dab at the corner of her eye? With Monique exiting the franchise is there anyone left for Karen to form an alliance with? Did Juan and Michael skip the reunion for a secret bachelor party in Las Vegas? I guess these are questions we will have to wait for Season 6 to discover.