The Lindsay Lohan Trifecta: Dina, Denial and Some Coked-Up Russians

The penultimate episode of Lindsay featured all the classic elements of “the Lohan suite”—a little bit of Dina, some familial finger-pointing, 7 am coke jaw, pathological tardiness and lack of professional commitment. It was enough to push an Elle editor—who forgot she was still wearing her mic pack—over the edge.

Lindsay was supposed to shoot the cover and a big feature for Elle Indonesia. The call time for the shoot was a pretty reasonable 12:30 pm, but when she hadn’t yet arrived by 4 pm, the photographer Eric Silverberg, whose style is to shoot in natural light, decided that the day was a bust and it needed to be rescheduled. This created something of a scheduling nightmare for Elle editor Anindita Saryuf, who’d flown 27 hours from Indonesia for the shoot and interview. Off-camera, but still with her mic on, she fumed to her crew in Indonesian (that was translated in subtitles), “That bitch, that bitch, that bitch Lindsay!”

Speaking with her production manager, Anindita says, “And she wants a comeback?”

“It won’t be much of a comeback!” he laughs back.

So then the shoot is rescheduled for two days later. The morning of the shoot, Lindsay is hanging out with a group of Russians in her apartment, with the shades drawn. It is 7 am on a Sunday, and they are still clearly partying from the night before. One guy even holds up a half-filled tequila bottle. Another, who is getting his ear pierced with a knife, has the most intense coke jaw anyone has seen since Bobby Brown sat down for his New Edition Behind the Music interview.

At this point, Lindsay has been filming herself with the documentary crew’s camera, ostensibly because she’s so unwilling to commit to a shooting schedule. For some reason, she thinks it’s a good idea to film herself partying until the break of dawn on a day that she was supposed to attend a photo shoot.

Oddly enough, she actually makes it to the Elle shoot on time-ish, at 1 pm. After hair and makeup though, they don’t have much time left to shoot with natural light. So they are forced to add another day onto the shoot. What was supposed to be a one-day affair has now gone on for a full week.

By this time, though, the clothes had to be returned to the designers, so Lindsay had to wear a lot of her own wardrobe. Instead of being embarrassed about the problems she caused for the crew and the magazine, she brags about how she has “co-styled” so many of her shoots and then complains that she never gets credit for it.

At the end of the night the Anindita asks if she can finally get Lindsay to sit down for 20 or 30 minutes for the interview. Lindsay refuses. She already had plans to go to a party. She can’t be late.