This week, the Bristol Zoo in Bristol, UK lost an entire family of endangered warty pigs because the dad warty pig decided to eat his offspring and mate. At the same zoo, a rare lion headed golden tamarin was recently eaten by a gang of otters after it got into the otter enclosure. Both are sad incidents and, inappropriately, the jumping off point for this week's Pissing Contest: the grossest thing you've ever eaten.
Here's some of the revolting stuff the Jezebel staff has shoved in our face holes (NO DICK JOKES PLEASE. THIS IS A PROFESSIONAL ENVIRONMENT):
- Fermented horse milk
- A sheep's head
- Ant egg tacos
- Huitlacoche
- Frogs legs
- Squirrel
- Sweetbreads (the thymus of a calf)
- Black pudding
- Iguana
- "A pile of mayonnaise"
- Lasagna made with intestines instead of noodles
On that disgusting note, here are the winners of last week's Pissing Contest, Your Most Insane Celebrity Encounters.
This one, by Siege Mentality, is heartwarming:
I was the Room Service Coordinator at a casino in Atlantic City, NJ. My job consisted of taking orders via phone, creating the checks, assigning servers, and closing the checks. Room service also handled all the amenities for the shows, so I've been on the phone with an assortment of celebrities that were in-house to do a show or staying over night.
The most glorious celebrity of all of the celebrities was none other than Joan Rivers. The first time I dealt with her it was for a meal. She immediately began using my name, was so pleasant, and talked to me as if we went way back. The next day, she called for breakfast and asked for me again, but I was off duty. Keep in mind, I was just a person that took her supper order over the phone. I didn't even deal with her face-to-face at that point.
Of course, she was there to do a stand-up show. While most celebrities were simply too good to walk through "the back of the house" aka employee areas, Joan stepped through like a mini-grandma-goddess greeting everyone while we all just stopped and gawked at her. She immediately caught on that the same people that were handling her meals were also handling the amenities in her dressing room. She told her server that she wouldn't mind at all if we just happened to take our time freshening up the dressing room and peeked at the show from the wings.
We took turns sneaking away from our duties to peek at her and listen to her be as raunchy and unapologetic as she wanted to be. I don't think I've ever fangirled so hard for anything in my life. The crowd loved her, and the back of the house chatter was full of one liners from her show for the next month.
I can honestly say, after dealing with a string of nightmare D-list celebs and Where Are They Now, Joan Rivers was the living embodiment of Glenda the Good Witch behind the scenes and I was really choked up when I heard she died.
Mr.Noir0033's near encounter with Paul Newman will also make you FEEL FEELINGS:
It's not insane per se but it was the coolest thing ever! I've been chronically ill since 4. Loads of kidney problems, autoimmune disorders, etc. A lot of pain. A lot of sleepless nights. That's how I got into old movies. If you're in pain & awake at 4am TCM is the only thing on. I LOVE old movies. I pray to Bogart & Bacall & Chaplin. I also really dug Paul Newman because he had a summer camp for sick kids like me plus I LOVED his movies. In 6th grade we had to interview someone we admired. Keep in mind I'm 12 & it's 2000. I wrote to him. One night my family & I go out to dinner & when we come back there's a message on our machine. It was him! It was Paul Newman, Butch fuckin' Cassidy!!!!! He said he was sorry, he was filming a movie (road to perdition with Tom Hanks), but that he was so flattered & that if I ever wanted to interview him again all I had to do was write. He even thanked me for the letter. What a class act.
This final doozy, courtesy of BrilliantButMedicated, is less tender and more insane/upsetting/sad:
I spent an incredibly surreal Father's Day dinner seated with my parents at a table next to OJ Simpson, his older daughter, the two kids he had with Nicole Brown, his mother, and some girlfriend that was probably younger than his oldest daughter.
Father's Day happened to coincide with the 5th anniversary of the murders. The restaurant was just blocks from the house where he murdered his children's mother. That's right, OJ was like "Hey kids, let's go celebrate what an awesome dad I am at a restaurant a few feet from where I brutally murdered your mom."
They ended up leaving at the same time we did so we also got the pleasure of watching them all climb into his white Ford Bronco.
Congrats, everyone!
And with that out of the way, dinner is served.
Image via New Line Cinema