I guess my best friend's college boyfriend was onto something after all: Two-tone jeans are back!
The "twiggy thigh-high jean" from James Jeans is an updated style that "creates an edgy alternative to your basic skinny". They appear to be the $100+ unholy child of a four-way between skinny jeans, leggings, zippers, and every bad fashion and financial decision anyone has ever made. I'll take three pairs.*
*Oh, wait, no... their plus sizes are only available in style "looking like things sane people might want to wear." WTF is that about?!