As much as I love and pledge my allegiance to the Real Housewives, I wouldn’t consider them to be ethical heroes, nor champions of the little guy with aspirations so pure of heart that anyone would be wise to dub them role models. I also think to fully trudge through the murk that is “personal branding” and “sponsored content,” you must be of at least some weak morals, and the combination of those two beliefs have brought us here, to the bitter end of #SponCon, which is Bravolebrities hawking low-calorie Fiber One treats.
In a new music video/advertisement for a song titled “Work Done,” Real Housewives of New Jersey’s Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of Atlanta’s Porsha Williams, Real Housewives of Orange County’s Tamra Judge and Real Housewives of New York City’s Sonja Morgan and Dorinda Medley perform an apathetic Pussycat Dolls-esque pop song about plastic surgery... and diet snacks.
“I don’t got time for these rumors/I’m too busy gettin’ this work done,” Gorga sings in a moment of questionable sincerity, “Looking like a snack/Call me Fiber One then/Got that brownie/Let me take a quick 10.”
The brownies in question contain “only 70 calories, 5g net carbs and 2g of sugar,” according to Us Weekly, assuring they taste like dirt. I suppose it’s refreshing to see women celebrate the changes they’ve elected to make to their own bodies instead of shy away from them, but this is strange? In the era of wellness, it makes sense that these women would say “fuck it” and hawk what is essentially a dieting aid, but also, dieting traditionally doesn’t work?
This a lose-lose situation, but at least the song is funny.
My question now is: who forgot to invite Erika Jayne?