The Alma Awards celebrated the achievements of Latinos in television, film, and music. Alas, the red carpet — with lots of poofiness, ill-fitted lace, and unflattering silhouettes — didn't give us too much to celebrate.

Basically, this is the best of the worst. I think Eva Longoria's attitude saves her from entering into late '80s Barbie formal wear. I think I'd like Naya Rivera's sequined gown even out of this terrible context, and while Francia Raisa's dress looks pretty here, it might come off as date dance-y at other events.

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It's honestly refreshing to see that Jessica Alba isn't freakishly back to her bikini body just one month after giving birth. Plus, her necklace is cool.

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I'm sure that the photographer was trying to show us amazing Lisa Vidal's "handbag" is with this shot.

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If it weren't for the side cuts on her dress, showing off the ill-placed tattoos that she'll no doubt come to regret one day, Demi Lovato would look really nice. There's maybe some feathers and some sparkles going on with Alexa Vega's bodice that just makes things confusing. This last girl on the right is called Crash, and in this dress, she definitely causes a gapers' block.

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Gloria Estefan showed up looking like a sexy substitute teacher on a budget.

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Antonio Banderas is kind of acting like a weirdo with that dog, but manages to come off dapper put together. Meanwhile, Danny Trejo is wearing a pink necklace which does nothing to reduce the fear that he might kick your ass.

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Eggplant three ways: Lianna Grethel as pageant contestant, Constance Marie as a barely finished Project Runway piece, and Marcia Cross as Footloose prom.

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Gloria Garayua, Lauren Velez, and Chelsea Rendon all chose cocktail dresses with varying — yet equally unfortunate — results.

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It's kind of weird how, as different as their gowns may be, Viviana Vigil, Eva La Rue, and Maria Canals-Barrera all evoke 1993.

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Saving the worst for last, NCLR president Janet Murguia has so much fabric going on. The thing about Christian Vera's dress is that the nude/applique thing only works if you actually look nude beneath the appliques. And then there's Melanie Griffith. Just, no.